(no subject)
its pathetic that i havent talked to you at all since my internet has been broken.
how fucking fake is this?
and i was totally wrong.
i need out of here.
i need to go to college tomorrow. ugh college. i'm not going to get into any school that i want because i was such a slacker freshman year. and then im going to be back right where i am now. hating school. hating everything. everyone.
i seem to attract fake friends. or maybe not fake, but not true friends. everything is so in-and-out these days and i can't take it anymore. there are veryveryvery few people in my life that are "real" and i don't think that's how it should be.
lately all i want to do is sit in my room. on my bed. doing nothing. literally.
i envy those people who can just go out and party every night and get trashed and not feel guilty or paranoid about it. that is what my life has come to.
there is nothing in my life anymore than i am absolutely sure about, and it's the scariest feeling in the entire world. and i can't handle it.