Rrriw...
Sometimes I'm such a mass of contradictions that I confuse even myself.
Antisocial to the point of not being able to stand the company of many of my peer group (much less the boomers or Gen Y!)... yet I can't stand to be alone.
Craving the sort of camaraderie that I only get with (aside from Sam) males who aren't trying to have sex with me... yet confused and hurt when there's no active lust.
And life is good, I mean, it really is... I'm happy, I'm pleased with my projects and my downtime, I'm having a lot of fun... but yet I'm feeling almost depressed today, full of irritation and rage Saturdayand just this petulant irritation and grumbly feeling today, like nothing is going my way. I know none of this makes me any fun to be around - it doesn't make me any fun to be!... but I can't seem to help the whiny bitchy tone in my voice and in my mind, like a toddler who needs her nap. I think I game too much.
On the plus side, we got the last of our garden in this weekend - 6 jalapeno plants and 6 habeneros, 2 of each in planters and the rest in the remaining patch of garden. Everything is growing pretty wildly - the near-tropical weather seems to be agreeing ith most everything (except the spinach and lettuce, sigh), although I'm a little worried that the butternut vine will take over the entire trellis and then move on to eat the garden.
Saturday I spent entirely with sam - shopping, gardening, dinner, and the rather-disappointing Superman.
Sunday, J-o-J & I hung out in the late morning/early afternoon, and then I had tea & scones, used books, and a Goodwill trip with Eseme. Sunday night, Sam & I mostly (mostly)vegged.
It was a good weekend, a pleasant weekend, altogether representative (except the lack of a craft faire) of how I want my weekends to be. So why am I so icky today?
Antisocial to the point of not being able to stand the company of many of my peer group (much less the boomers or Gen Y!)... yet I can't stand to be alone.
Craving the sort of camaraderie that I only get with (aside from Sam) males who aren't trying to have sex with me... yet confused and hurt when there's no active lust.
And life is good, I mean, it really is... I'm happy, I'm pleased with my projects and my downtime, I'm having a lot of fun... but yet I'm feeling almost depressed today, full of irritation and rage Saturdayand just this petulant irritation and grumbly feeling today, like nothing is going my way. I know none of this makes me any fun to be around - it doesn't make me any fun to be!... but I can't seem to help the whiny bitchy tone in my voice and in my mind, like a toddler who needs her nap. I think I game too much.
On the plus side, we got the last of our garden in this weekend - 6 jalapeno plants and 6 habeneros, 2 of each in planters and the rest in the remaining patch of garden. Everything is growing pretty wildly - the near-tropical weather seems to be agreeing ith most everything (except the spinach and lettuce, sigh), although I'm a little worried that the butternut vine will take over the entire trellis and then move on to eat the garden.
Saturday I spent entirely with sam - shopping, gardening, dinner, and the rather-disappointing Superman.
Sunday, J-o-J & I hung out in the late morning/early afternoon, and then I had tea & scones, used books, and a Goodwill trip with Eseme. Sunday night, Sam & I mostly (mostly)vegged.
It was a good weekend, a pleasant weekend, altogether representative (except the lack of a craft faire) of how I want my weekends to be. So why am I so icky today?