(no subject)
I haven't had any reason to post, because there has been very little happen lately. Tony and his kids and parents came to dinner Saturday, along with Rob, Nicole and Ron. Finally got to play some games that I really miss. I think I need to go to Sarge's and/or Citadel this weekend to get Chez Cthulhu and zombie dice. I also really need some time to actually play the games I own with people other than just Rich. Many games we have kind of suck with only two people. Plus I really need to spend some time not thinking about things and doing something fun. I am so tired of always being responsible and boring. Seriously. I never had a time in my life when I could just take off and do what I want, experiment with things, and I have only ever smoked pot once because I have always been in a career where I could lose my job due to a drug test. I want to enjoy my life and kids and husband, but I am so tired of always being responsible for so much. I really wouldn't change my life but I did miss out on a lot when I was younger. I am also tired of not having time anymore where I can just do creative things and spend energy just thinking about things, being contemplative, writing, listening to music not designed for three year olds. I find my kids to be awesome, fascinating and precious little people, but I also wish I could spend a little more time away from them sometimes. I miss me. Being Mommy is the best thing EVER but I have lost Lish in becoming a mom. Wow I really need to stop complaining. It seems that the only reason I ever post anything is to complain or sound depressing. I don't know why that is. I really need to cheer up and get over it. Tomorrow I will be happy as ever. I need to bake bread, can strawberry rhubarb jam, work in the garden and make pickled beets. Busy day. I also am working on designing my first lesson plans when I start officially homeschooling in the fall. It is nice to be doing things like that again. I like keeping busy, but it does not fulfill in the way I am missing. Gotta find some creative outlet that I can fit into my life. That is my next goal I guess. Enough rambling for tonight, going to go spend some quality time with my husband. I am a lucky girl.