(no subject)
I don't think I have ever felt this out of touch before. I am so totally on the outside of everyone I know. No one returns my phone calls, people have bailed on every thing I have tried to do. People call me to ask me to do something and I tell them I would love to and will call later in the day to find out that they are already at someone else's house and don't have the time for me. Even my cat seems to want to stay away from me. I hate feeling like this. Seriously what is the matter with me that I repel people? All I want is a few people I know I can count on to do what they say, and maybe actually see me on a regular basis. I have been trying to find someone to go to the fucking beach with me for 3 fucking weeks! Seeing as no one even reads this I don't even know why I am writing it. I thought summer vacation would be great, but all I have done is babysit, work around the house and mope. I am bored out of my skull, and there is literally no one around to hear me beat my head against the wall. I have no idea what is going on with anyone, and nobody wants to tell me jack shit. I am so tired of always being outside everyones circle. I am so patetic my circle consists of me, my cat, and sometime my husband. I am tired of being lonely, even with people.