Yuck.
Uhhhh.....I have done nothing this holiday season other than eat and watch movies. Gross! I mean, I guess it's good for me, but I just feel yucky because I'm so used to being on the run everyday. I'm ready to go back to Oxford, so I can get back on track. I mean, seriously, my schedule consists of getting like 10 hrs. of sleep each night, eating unhealthy leftovers from Christmas including some piece of unneccesary chocolate, and watching TV until like midnight because there is nothing else to do. I feel fatter than usual.
I've realized that I really don't have many friends from home, and I hang out with them even less. Now that I count, there are literally 4 people that I just hope to get a chance of seeing when I'm in B'ham, and more times than less, I don't see them at all.
Plus, I'm now avoiding the inevitable nervous breakdown that I'm going to have at some point in time during the semester because of graduation. I can already tell that it's coming. For example, I had a minor panick attack in the shoe store with my mom today for no reason. I was just effin great. I'm excited about moving, but it's so scary. All I've known is school, so the thought of having to go to work to do something that I hate is terrifying. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be doing secretarial work for at a corporate office somewhere in downtown Chicago, and that is not what I got my degree in performing arts for. It just sucks that I can't just act and sing for a living. There's no use getting upset about it, because that is just the way that the world works, but I'm still scared of working in a job that I hate just for the sake of paying the bills. Not to mention, that I'm going to be living there by myself for about 6 months. I'm just worried about myself since I took the transition from highschool to college pretty hard, and something tells me that this is not going to be easier. I'm going to miss the security of having my friends around all the time.
I know I use this to rant, and I apologize that many of my postings are on the negative side, but sometimes I just have to write it down and get it out of my system.
I'm done now.
I've realized that I really don't have many friends from home, and I hang out with them even less. Now that I count, there are literally 4 people that I just hope to get a chance of seeing when I'm in B'ham, and more times than less, I don't see them at all.
Plus, I'm now avoiding the inevitable nervous breakdown that I'm going to have at some point in time during the semester because of graduation. I can already tell that it's coming. For example, I had a minor panick attack in the shoe store with my mom today for no reason. I was just effin great. I'm excited about moving, but it's so scary. All I've known is school, so the thought of having to go to work to do something that I hate is terrifying. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be doing secretarial work for at a corporate office somewhere in downtown Chicago, and that is not what I got my degree in performing arts for. It just sucks that I can't just act and sing for a living. There's no use getting upset about it, because that is just the way that the world works, but I'm still scared of working in a job that I hate just for the sake of paying the bills. Not to mention, that I'm going to be living there by myself for about 6 months. I'm just worried about myself since I took the transition from highschool to college pretty hard, and something tells me that this is not going to be easier. I'm going to miss the security of having my friends around all the time.
I know I use this to rant, and I apologize that many of my postings are on the negative side, but sometimes I just have to write it down and get it out of my system.
I'm done now.