I've learned to always ask :D Posting a hypothetical advice column letter does seem very invitation-like, but I wanted to make sure.
Set boundaries and/or limits. For example, turn off IM/twitter notifications/facebook notifications to your phone between X and Y time (evenings, during work, weekends, whatever), and let people know that if they urgently need to contact you (then or in general, your choice), they should call. Unless it's an emergency, ignore it.
People have a tendency to make last-minute invitations, which can be fun, but you already had plans or you don't feel like driving an hour to make it, or whatever. If you can find a gentle way of saying, "I'd love to, but I already made plans for today. Next time, can you give me a few days' notice rather than half an hour's?" try that out. (Yes, people often make last-minute outings, and you don't want to completely discourage them from inviting you if *sometimes* you'd be happy to join your friends who suddenly decided to go out for a movie tonight and thought you might want to join them; it's a tricky balance to strike.)
I'm an extrovert (very strongly), so I have a slightly different relationship to these sorts of things, but god damn is it annoying when I'm trying to get work done and people are GChatting me or facebook messaging me or whatever. I used to be invisible on GChat all the time, but the switch to Hangouts made that impossible (boo). I need to get in the habit of setting "away" when I'm trying to work (oh, hey, I'm apparently always set to away now; good. Though it doesn't always deter people.) Or when I have a weekend full of Things That Need To Get Done and someone says "hey, there's a thing, you should come." (The last time that happened was for a friend's going away (moving to Texas) party, and I decided that was more important than getting the work done that I needed to. I seriously got the invitation with less than 24 hours' notice.)
Be able to say no. No is always a valid response! You can justify it if you want, but you don't have to. "I already have plans" is always valid, even if your plans were reading a book. You can weigh the invitation against things (like I did above, with "well, i needed to do a bunch of things, but my friend is moving to Texas, like, tomorrow, so...") and decide case by case (obviously), but if you need a day of uninterrupted battery recharging, it's fair to turn off your phone or computer and recharge.
Set boundaries and/or limits. For example, turn off IM/twitter notifications/facebook notifications to your phone between X and Y time (evenings, during work, weekends, whatever), and let people know that if they urgently need to contact you (then or in general, your choice), they should call. Unless it's an emergency, ignore it.
People have a tendency to make last-minute invitations, which can be fun, but you already had plans or you don't feel like driving an hour to make it, or whatever. If you can find a gentle way of saying, "I'd love to, but I already made plans for today. Next time, can you give me a few days' notice rather than half an hour's?" try that out. (Yes, people often make last-minute outings, and you don't want to completely discourage them from inviting you if *sometimes* you'd be happy to join your friends who suddenly decided to go out for a movie tonight and thought you might want to join them; it's a tricky balance to strike.)
I'm an extrovert (very strongly), so I have a slightly different relationship to these sorts of things, but god damn is it annoying when I'm trying to get work done and people are GChatting me or facebook messaging me or whatever. I used to be invisible on GChat all the time, but the switch to Hangouts made that impossible (boo). I need to get in the habit of setting "away" when I'm trying to work (oh, hey, I'm apparently always set to away now; good. Though it doesn't always deter people.) Or when I have a weekend full of Things That Need To Get Done and someone says "hey, there's a thing, you should come." (The last time that happened was for a friend's going away (moving to Texas) party, and I decided that was more important than getting the work done that I needed to. I seriously got the invitation with less than 24 hours' notice.)
Be able to say no. No is always a valid response! You can justify it if you want, but you don't have to. "I already have plans" is always valid, even if your plans were reading a book. You can weigh the invitation against things (like I did above, with "well, i needed to do a bunch of things, but my friend is moving to Texas, like, tomorrow, so...") and decide case by case (obviously), but if you need a day of uninterrupted battery recharging, it's fair to turn off your phone or computer and recharge.
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