(no subject)
i'm sitting at home tonight listening to the rain and thinking about this past weekend, and really this past month.
i feel like i have become defined and consumed by my need for a boyfriend recently. I'm a believer that having a boyfriend or being in a relationship does not define who you are, and really shouldn't rule your life, but recently i've been feeling like that's all i think about. I HATE IT.
i really wish i could switch my brain off once in awhile just to give it a break.
honestly though i'm just soooooo tired of this college hook up mind set. and i feel like i have been living here for a while now, and i have become accustomed to that way of thinking so i don't expect anything from guys anymore. i just expect that they are goign to be assholes and accept it.
i feel like that is so inappropriate for me to think that way! what happened to romance, or even holding a person responsible for their words and actions. if i give you my number because YOU asked for it, then call me! don't just take it to make me feel better. don't worry you aren't saving me any pain. you are just hurting me more honestly. anyways back to the mindset discussion. the san diego mindset is that it's ok to hook up with someone and then not really have any attachments to them anymore. now let me be honest i've had my share of this idea. and once in awhile it's ok if it's a mutual thing, ut i feel like i can't just step outside of that thought prociess and realize that maybe a guy would actually like me for my intelligence and my looks? i don't know i just feel like recently i have been feeling like i have nothing to offer. and i know that's not true! i know that i am a great girlfriend as well as a friend!
so in conclusion i would like to say that. i need to change my opinion of myself in order to change the people that i am attracted to(unhealthy relationships) and change the way that i have been letting people treat me.
i feel like i have become defined and consumed by my need for a boyfriend recently. I'm a believer that having a boyfriend or being in a relationship does not define who you are, and really shouldn't rule your life, but recently i've been feeling like that's all i think about. I HATE IT.
i really wish i could switch my brain off once in awhile just to give it a break.
honestly though i'm just soooooo tired of this college hook up mind set. and i feel like i have been living here for a while now, and i have become accustomed to that way of thinking so i don't expect anything from guys anymore. i just expect that they are goign to be assholes and accept it.
i feel like that is so inappropriate for me to think that way! what happened to romance, or even holding a person responsible for their words and actions. if i give you my number because YOU asked for it, then call me! don't just take it to make me feel better. don't worry you aren't saving me any pain. you are just hurting me more honestly. anyways back to the mindset discussion. the san diego mindset is that it's ok to hook up with someone and then not really have any attachments to them anymore. now let me be honest i've had my share of this idea. and once in awhile it's ok if it's a mutual thing, ut i feel like i can't just step outside of that thought prociess and realize that maybe a guy would actually like me for my intelligence and my looks? i don't know i just feel like recently i have been feeling like i have nothing to offer. and i know that's not true! i know that i am a great girlfriend as well as a friend!
so in conclusion i would like to say that. i need to change my opinion of myself in order to change the people that i am attracted to(unhealthy relationships) and change the way that i have been letting people treat me.