Santa Clause...

[lisavee]

A Letter from Santa

I have been watching you very closely

to see if you have been good this year

and since you have, I will be telling my

elves to make some goodies for me to

leave under your tree at Christmas.

I was going to bring you gifts from the

12 days of Christmas, but we had a little

problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all

come down with VD from fiddling with the

10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping

have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking,

and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested

for doing weird things to the 7 swans

a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling

birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the

partridge in a pear tree have me up to my

sled runners in bird shit.

On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through

menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat,

the elves have joined the gay liberation and

some people who can't read a calendar have

scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit

together and bring you the things you want.

This year I suggest you get your asses down

to Walmart before everything is gone.

Sincerely,
Santa Claus

Hehe... Santa rocks!