(no subject)
oh dear livejournal,
i've been going through a rough time. finding myself is harder than i thought, sometimes i feel like am forgotten. i must have a strange personality or i just come off as a bitch who doesnt want to let anyone in. i know im bad at commitment. dont really know how i am able to keep a boyfriend for so long. the past few nights have been rough new years eve is going to be rough john is on nights and that means lisa has a whole lot of time on her hands more than she likes on a normal day. i seem to get moody alot i take alot of my problems out on people i dont mean to. well i dont like all the time i have it scares me. i never liked being alone never. i dont like myself to much its sad in a way. well its sad in a big way. i struggle finding my good qualities. when i do have alot. i struggle to make friends. and worst of all i struggle to keep them anyone what has ever been close to me knows this. i have a short attention span i lack the ability to keep people close and unless someone cares about me a whole lot which i have a hard time believing they dont seem to last long in my life. i lack in social skills funny how my role in life has completely flipped. well now im going to knit my blanket and watch a movie. i'm not sure if im ready but one day i hope to be...
i've been going through a rough time. finding myself is harder than i thought, sometimes i feel like am forgotten. i must have a strange personality or i just come off as a bitch who doesnt want to let anyone in. i know im bad at commitment. dont really know how i am able to keep a boyfriend for so long. the past few nights have been rough new years eve is going to be rough john is on nights and that means lisa has a whole lot of time on her hands more than she likes on a normal day. i seem to get moody alot i take alot of my problems out on people i dont mean to. well i dont like all the time i have it scares me. i never liked being alone never. i dont like myself to much its sad in a way. well its sad in a big way. i struggle finding my good qualities. when i do have alot. i struggle to make friends. and worst of all i struggle to keep them anyone what has ever been close to me knows this. i have a short attention span i lack the ability to keep people close and unless someone cares about me a whole lot which i have a hard time believing they dont seem to last long in my life. i lack in social skills funny how my role in life has completely flipped. well now im going to knit my blanket and watch a movie. i'm not sure if im ready but one day i hope to be...