Being unmarried

Jul 29, 2006 19:37

I went to a workshop, today, with Jenn. It was run by romance writers. The workshop was great, and everyone was very nice, but I was having a really hard time with feeling unmarried, surrounded by women with husbands and small children. Every joke about hubby just pissed me off. I realized I am harboring a lot of bitterness toward married women. It's like I was in the club and now I am not. It has nothing to do with David. I can't stand him and I am so happy not being married to him. It's the identity of being married, of being a wife. It's safe. It's like this cloak of security, and I miss it. And yet, I am loving being unmarried. I have a sense of freedom I only had once before--when I realized I was a writer. There are no strings attached. It's just me making it happen, making the words appear on the screen. Creating worlds. Creating my life, just the way I want it.

We made collages today, cutting out pictures we felt were about our books and pasting them on poster paper. Mine filled both sides of the paper, and it was chaotic and beautiful. It made me wonder about the premise of the novel. I've always felt it was about disconnection. I think it still is, but I think it's also about power and freedom.
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