Reflections
I figured out what happens next in the novel. I realized that I was reaching to far and not allowing my characters to put one foot in front of the next. When I pulled back and let them just walk, it was so clear. I have no idea what the step is after this one, but it sure feels good to get a teeny bit further than I was yesterday.
Joe and I were driving home from his doctor, tonight, and discussing the need for privacy in therapy and the stigma of mental illness. The subject drifted to people telling me that I should just get Joe to 'cheer up', or 'snap out of it'--that they equate psychotic depression with unhappiness. It's not unhappiness, it's a dire illness. Joe and I talked about that, how he and I know what this is. That he and I know what this has been the last two years. In a selfish way, I suppose, it made me feel good, that this is between him and me. Reminds me Frodo and Sam and the end, back in safety, but they had this place where no one else could go. I feel I have that with Angela too, with the long talks we've had about everything that has happened. We've had such a horrible time, but we've been traveling through it together, getting through it, and slowly, it's getting better. And in the end, we know how strong we are and how much we love each other. Looking at it that way, it's okay. It's our burden.
David is just a person. Yes, he is brilliant and used to wielding a lot of power, but in the end he's just a person, like me. I don't have to be afraid of him. I can face him at that meeting and get through it.
Joe and I were driving home from his doctor, tonight, and discussing the need for privacy in therapy and the stigma of mental illness. The subject drifted to people telling me that I should just get Joe to 'cheer up', or 'snap out of it'--that they equate psychotic depression with unhappiness. It's not unhappiness, it's a dire illness. Joe and I talked about that, how he and I know what this is. That he and I know what this has been the last two years. In a selfish way, I suppose, it made me feel good, that this is between him and me. Reminds me Frodo and Sam and the end, back in safety, but they had this place where no one else could go. I feel I have that with Angela too, with the long talks we've had about everything that has happened. We've had such a horrible time, but we've been traveling through it together, getting through it, and slowly, it's getting better. And in the end, we know how strong we are and how much we love each other. Looking at it that way, it's okay. It's our burden.
David is just a person. Yes, he is brilliant and used to wielding a lot of power, but in the end he's just a person, like me. I don't have to be afraid of him. I can face him at that meeting and get through it.