(no subject)
For the first time in a very very long time i feel so happy inside because i dont want anything that isnt mine... For the first time since i cant even remember when I'm not using my 11:11 wishes to wish that someone were mine instead of hers. For the very first time in what feels like eternity, I am happy with every aspect of my life and I wouldnt change a thing, not even the part about being alone because I really am a good person and one day i'll find someone who likes me as much as i like him and everything will work out just fine.
It just feels really good to finally, after so many months of sadness, to feel glad... to no longer feel like I am missing a part of me... because that part of me ended with the rest of it, and thats not a bad thing...
Last night I dreamt about one turning point in my life where I wish I had said no but didnt. In my dream I said no and things were like they were now except a long time ago... but even though it took so long to get to this point, its ok because now I am smarter and I know more, and in the end the result is still being at that point.
It may be late and I may be drunk, but its not just beer-happy.... its realization happy. And knowing that everything I feel inside me is finally the honest to god truth is a powerful feeling and I wish you could know what its like.
i know i would be a lot more credible if i could get something besides giggles out of my mouth, but id rather have it be giggles than tears, so lets just work with what we've got.
It just feels really good to finally, after so many months of sadness, to feel glad... to no longer feel like I am missing a part of me... because that part of me ended with the rest of it, and thats not a bad thing...
Last night I dreamt about one turning point in my life where I wish I had said no but didnt. In my dream I said no and things were like they were now except a long time ago... but even though it took so long to get to this point, its ok because now I am smarter and I know more, and in the end the result is still being at that point.
It may be late and I may be drunk, but its not just beer-happy.... its realization happy. And knowing that everything I feel inside me is finally the honest to god truth is a powerful feeling and I wish you could know what its like.
i know i would be a lot more credible if i could get something besides giggles out of my mouth, but id rather have it be giggles than tears, so lets just work with what we've got.