Kids
When I was younger I always knew that I would have children. Actually, I always thought I would have one child. I also thought I would have said child by the time I was about 28 years old. I now realize, that I am 30 years old, almost 31, and really don't want a baby. Well, I don't know if that's really the case, but babies scare me. I was never
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Even though I'd babysat quite a bit, from a fairly young age, such a thing still can't fully prepare a person for bringing home their own child and essentially being left to their own vices. It's scary and you second guess every last thing. But you do find that groove and, almost by trial and error, figure out what works best for you and your child.
It's the toddler (and teenage) years that really put you to the test. I laugh at how "difficult" I thought it was when she was a baby. Yeah, sitting around and breastfeeding and snuggling all day, or her sleeping for four hours here, eight hours there... that was really "hard". (Then again, we got lucky with her not being a super-fussy baby, and she slept completely through the night from about two months.) There were moments where it was trying and tiring, where that little voice crept in and questioned, "Can I really do this? What the hell am I doing?!" But that's all perfectly normal, and as the saying goes, "This too shall pass."
Don't get me wrong, being able to actually interact with her now and watching her truly absorb and explore is an amazing experience. But it's also an emotionally and physically draining one to deal with the every day challenges as we essentially teach one another. I sometimes long for those simpler, quieter days when she was a newborn.
All that said, of course not everyone is cut out or meant to have a child of their own. Not a thing wrong with that and you/they shouldn't feel strangely about it. If one can adopt or be a foster parent, that's an incredibly wonderful thing and I fully support it. If you feel like you're already set in your ways and enjoy a certain lifestyle (because the life you once knew will be suddenly flipped completely upside down), one that doesn't really have room for the major responsibility of a child, you shouldn't feel the least bit guilty about not wanting kids in it. I know people who don't intend to ever have children, but they still enjoy spending time with other people's kids, or by volunteering as a Big Sister/Big Brother.
Oh, and I totally second you on the apartment thing. We were still living in the two bedroom apartment in Ballard until Molly was about two months. Sometimes it seems like this two-story, four bedroom house with a front and backyard isn't big enough for her! I can't even begin to imagine being back in an apartment with this hyper munchkin on my hands. (Even though I know there are people who make it work, especially those living in major cities, with no other option than an apartment.)
Definitely a lot to think about, lady.
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And thanks girl...I really appreciate your comments!
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