Lisa pwns Washington DC, bitches.
Back from Washington and not having to rely on my shitty cell-phone for e-mail! I do a dance of yay!
Phallic!
I'm so horribly immature. That had me laughing for the whole two days. Especially since the National Gallery of Art sculpture garden seemed littered with vaginas. D.C. is like Marvel with it's subtext, hee. My family was so bored of that chant by day two.
Serves them right for taking me to the Vietnam War Memorial AND the WWII Memorial. I can only do with so much oppressive eye-opening sadness, kthnx. Especially since I seem to be the only one in the family with an obssessive urge to focus on these war memorials until I'm a sobbing wreck at the loss of human life and the lives left behind and GAH. There are pieces of people there. Why am I the only one in the family affected?
Mother was even more crazy than usual - I blame the presence of the grandparents, they always get her jumpy. Conversation go like this:
Mom: We need another bed here. I don't want to sleep in the same bed as anyone.
Lisa: I'll sleep on the couch if you want.
Mom: You don't pay this much money to sleep on a bed.
Lisa: I don't care, it's midnight. And we're not paying anyway.
Mom: *calls hotel* We need a fold-out bed up here.
Kate: *is sleeping standing up*
Mom: Is Paul Simon on Saturday Night Live?
Lisa: Nope. It's Friday.
(5 minutes pass)
Mom: *calls hotel again* I'm really tired and need a foldout bed! What the hell is wrong with you people?
Lisa: I'll sleep on the couch. I said I would.
(two minutes pass)
Mom: *calls hotel again* THIS IS MY FIFTH TIME CALLING WHERE THE HELL IS MY BED.
Kate: This is the third time calling.
Mom: I called five times.
Kate: You only called-
Mom: Five times.
Kate: No-
Mom: *calls hotel again* I called you eight times. I still have no bed.
Maid: *brings up bed*
Mom: This bed sucks. *calls hotel management* Tenth time calling, we still don't have a bed.
Kate: This is a bed.
Mom: No it's not.
Lisa: *trying to sleep on the couch*
Maid: Cama, senora! Es una cama!
Mom: *threatens management with dropping service she didn't even pay for*
Management: *gives up, gives Mom new room*
Us: *move to new room*
Mom: No window view?
*repeat process*
Conclusion: Mother cannot count. And she did this about forty times throughout the vacation. Usually I can at least FOLLOW her thought process, but now...I am so glad I can drive.
Also, DC tastes like mayonaisse. Seriously. The very AIR tastes like mayonaisse and I don't know why.
Saw the Smithsonian art galleries, teh OMG. I hearts da impressionism. I just stood there in awe for hours. Amazing, the emotions that can be said in paint - of course, impressionism is my favorite style to look at.
And the natural history museum! Coolest ever!
I'm so proud of my brother. Not because he got #106 in the nation (but that is worth something), but because he took care of an autistic teammate. It was so beautiful to see him taking responsibility and compassion like that, so amazing.
Phallic!
I'm so horribly immature. That had me laughing for the whole two days. Especially since the National Gallery of Art sculpture garden seemed littered with vaginas. D.C. is like Marvel with it's subtext, hee. My family was so bored of that chant by day two.
Serves them right for taking me to the Vietnam War Memorial AND the WWII Memorial. I can only do with so much oppressive eye-opening sadness, kthnx. Especially since I seem to be the only one in the family with an obssessive urge to focus on these war memorials until I'm a sobbing wreck at the loss of human life and the lives left behind and GAH. There are pieces of people there. Why am I the only one in the family affected?
Mother was even more crazy than usual - I blame the presence of the grandparents, they always get her jumpy. Conversation go like this:
Mom: We need another bed here. I don't want to sleep in the same bed as anyone.
Lisa: I'll sleep on the couch if you want.
Mom: You don't pay this much money to sleep on a bed.
Lisa: I don't care, it's midnight. And we're not paying anyway.
Mom: *calls hotel* We need a fold-out bed up here.
Kate: *is sleeping standing up*
Mom: Is Paul Simon on Saturday Night Live?
Lisa: Nope. It's Friday.
(5 minutes pass)
Mom: *calls hotel again* I'm really tired and need a foldout bed! What the hell is wrong with you people?
Lisa: I'll sleep on the couch. I said I would.
(two minutes pass)
Mom: *calls hotel again* THIS IS MY FIFTH TIME CALLING WHERE THE HELL IS MY BED.
Kate: This is the third time calling.
Mom: I called five times.
Kate: You only called-
Mom: Five times.
Kate: No-
Mom: *calls hotel again* I called you eight times. I still have no bed.
Maid: *brings up bed*
Mom: This bed sucks. *calls hotel management* Tenth time calling, we still don't have a bed.
Kate: This is a bed.
Mom: No it's not.
Lisa: *trying to sleep on the couch*
Maid: Cama, senora! Es una cama!
Mom: *threatens management with dropping service she didn't even pay for*
Management: *gives up, gives Mom new room*
Us: *move to new room*
Mom: No window view?
*repeat process*
Conclusion: Mother cannot count. And she did this about forty times throughout the vacation. Usually I can at least FOLLOW her thought process, but now...I am so glad I can drive.
Also, DC tastes like mayonaisse. Seriously. The very AIR tastes like mayonaisse and I don't know why.
Saw the Smithsonian art galleries, teh OMG. I hearts da impressionism. I just stood there in awe for hours. Amazing, the emotions that can be said in paint - of course, impressionism is my favorite style to look at.
And the natural history museum! Coolest ever!
I'm so proud of my brother. Not because he got #106 in the nation (but that is worth something), but because he took care of an autistic teammate. It was so beautiful to see him taking responsibility and compassion like that, so amazing.