I'm worth more than five dollars, dammit.
Okay guys, look. Over at Sweet Charity, I am renting out my art talents. They are currently up for bid.
To the top two bidders, I'm going to be painting portraits of any subject of their choice, bar pornography. Any character. Any person. Any place. Just supply a picture and they'll receive a beautiful, pretty large, hand-painted, one-of-a-kind portrait of whatever they want in their mailbox. And what's more, all the money doesn't go straight to my greedy pockets, but to RAINN (The Rape, Abuse, Incest and Neglect Support Network), which means it's going to a great cause, and I think I'm a good enough artist that I can make whatever you commission from me seriously worth your money.
The bid is currently FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS AND 84 CENTS.
Yes. For FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS AND 85 CENTS you can get a hand-done, high-quality portrait of whatever the fuck you want from me. Do it for my ego. Do it for the charity. Do it because you seriously want that portrait of that BSG chick or Little Jimmy Urine or Johnny Depp or Wolverine or the Eiffel Tower or whatthefuckever on your wall.
Bid. BID!
To the top two bidders, I'm going to be painting portraits of any subject of their choice, bar pornography. Any character. Any person. Any place. Just supply a picture and they'll receive a beautiful, pretty large, hand-painted, one-of-a-kind portrait of whatever they want in their mailbox. And what's more, all the money doesn't go straight to my greedy pockets, but to RAINN (The Rape, Abuse, Incest and Neglect Support Network), which means it's going to a great cause, and I think I'm a good enough artist that I can make whatever you commission from me seriously worth your money.
The bid is currently FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS AND 84 CENTS.
Yes. For FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS AND 85 CENTS you can get a hand-done, high-quality portrait of whatever the fuck you want from me. Do it for my ego. Do it for the charity. Do it because you seriously want that portrait of that BSG chick or Little Jimmy Urine or Johnny Depp or Wolverine or the Eiffel Tower or whatthefuckever on your wall.
Bid. BID!