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Sometimes it gets so bad I feel sick to my stomach. I feel lost and vulnerable, unloved and uncared for, and it sucks. It feels like I'm irrelevant, like I could be easily replaced, like I don't mean anything. It makes me question everything. Like, what am I doing? Why am I investing so much? Why am I being so stubborn, if I always end up feeling like this? Uncertain, frustrated, scared and confused. Like, right now my hands are shaking. I feel so angry at the entire world that I wish I was a giant so I could crush it in my fist. These are the moments when I'd like to just stop thinking, I wish I had a switch in my brain, that I could turn off easily to sleep the pain away. I never manage, and that makes it worse, makes it even more painful. And I feel even more stupid.