the early bird (kitty!) gets the worm. (sardine!)
good morning. i don't know what's going on... but something just wouldn't let me stay in bed.
my mom is supposedly coming over at around 10, and ryan is picking me up for my show/going back to rockland at around 2; and that's definitely the busiest scheduled day i've had all week. but what the heck is so important that i have to start doing it at 7:30 in the morning?
i was dreaming so hard.
i think i type that every entry now.
my dreams get more vivid, more detailed and more sprawled out every night.
last night there was something about a group of people that i know (mostly girls) storming a hotel and just taking it over.
i remember the scene (watching from the outside) of all of our cars pulling up to the hotel and parking at the same time so that we would all arrive together and make the biggest impression that we could. i feel like a movie title flashed across the screen with the word "silk" in it, but i don't know how that would fit in at all. cut to us just partying and making a mess of the hotel, flash to me calling my little sister at home and trying to invite her, flash to the chaotic kitchen scene in my dad's house where there's a full size black poodle running around like mad and my dad is cooking something in a HUGE pot on the stove. ((my kittten gets very anxious, and a few police cars just drove by with an ambulance doing some weird short choppy sirens, he gets so anxious and uneasy and it just seems like he doesn't know what to do when alarming sounds are going on. i love holding him close. he's such a baby.) anyway... back to the dreaming. the weirdest part about the whole situation was that i feel like there was something going on having to do with plastic surgery. i'm not a supporter of it, i don't spend time thinking about it, what the hey? flash to looking at pictures that don't exist of my friends kate and vicki where they have tattoos that they don't have in real life. (both are covered in ink respectively... but my mind just twirled it all over the place.) flash to... waking up next to billy.
not being able to go back to sleep.
weird.
2 people sleeping together every night is so much different than one person sleeping alone.
so. much. different.
when i was trekking all over the midwest i was with him always. every time i called my mom to check in or something, she always just imbedded it in my brain to stick together. i think... even in the most extreme situations, like per say having to sleep outside in the cold... two people would survive a hell of a lot longer than just one. i see the same people covered in their tarps every night. if you don't come to the city much you might just think they're a pile of garbage... but some of them are frequent enough to me that i can think of their faces as i pass their respective hideaways. i love being partners. i wonder if it makes me a horrible person to feel better with someone... of course i'm always saying that i'm weak and spoiled, but it's really more about just working/living/feeling better about working as a pair.
being naked with that boy feels sooooo good.
((kitty is jumping around and he just made my leg bleed a big drop of blood, but i love him anyway.))
last night was filled with the lovely jessica, (a friend from rockland who 1ives on 14th street), my billy, a bottle of wine, a big blunt and 8 full episodes of curb your enthusiasm. (have you ever seen that show? it's so sarcastic and awkward and frustrated and amazing.) i got delightfully warm and giggly and had a very good time. shawn (my roommate) came home from boston, stayed about an hour and then left for purchase. i *love* having the house to myself with billy. it's what shows me that i really don't want roommates for too much longer... i want my own place again.
today.
i have a show!
i used to get so nervous when i first joined talk to plants, but now i'm just excited.
me and billy have been experimenting so much more with music lately at home.
it's so wonderful to have my cello and to hum a tune and be able to pick it out almost instantly. montana has a few guitars and a drum machine that billy is more than capable, but i little scared to rock out with. mini congas. i love making noise! i've been playing church music that i just can't forget from my childhood when i'm alone for some reason.. but it's pretty and relaxing so who cares. i'd really like to get a little pipe or flute... so that i can have a more mobile way to translate my musicThoughts, but then i just realize that i *do* always have my voice... so i'll make do.
why am i not tired at all???
usually i'm still awake from the night before at this time... but if i fall asleep i'm dead asleep for hours and hours.
i just jumped up and needed to turn my brain on. maybe i should do this more often.
i'm going to reply to everyone from my last post. (hello lauren! of course i remember you silly head! who can forget the few cool people that you meet that that whirlwind of a hellhole north rockland?) and then try to find the blunt roach from last night and make myself a yummy garlic grilled cheese for breakfast.
YUM.
xo
ps. does anybody want to buy me a vw westfalia? i'll take any of the ones that have running motors on ebay.
any one. beggars can't be choosers right!? hee hee. i know it's ridiculous... but i just had to ask.
DREAMDREAMDREAM.
my mom is supposedly coming over at around 10, and ryan is picking me up for my show/going back to rockland at around 2; and that's definitely the busiest scheduled day i've had all week. but what the heck is so important that i have to start doing it at 7:30 in the morning?
i was dreaming so hard.
i think i type that every entry now.
my dreams get more vivid, more detailed and more sprawled out every night.
last night there was something about a group of people that i know (mostly girls) storming a hotel and just taking it over.
i remember the scene (watching from the outside) of all of our cars pulling up to the hotel and parking at the same time so that we would all arrive together and make the biggest impression that we could. i feel like a movie title flashed across the screen with the word "silk" in it, but i don't know how that would fit in at all. cut to us just partying and making a mess of the hotel, flash to me calling my little sister at home and trying to invite her, flash to the chaotic kitchen scene in my dad's house where there's a full size black poodle running around like mad and my dad is cooking something in a HUGE pot on the stove. ((my kittten gets very anxious, and a few police cars just drove by with an ambulance doing some weird short choppy sirens, he gets so anxious and uneasy and it just seems like he doesn't know what to do when alarming sounds are going on. i love holding him close. he's such a baby.) anyway... back to the dreaming. the weirdest part about the whole situation was that i feel like there was something going on having to do with plastic surgery. i'm not a supporter of it, i don't spend time thinking about it, what the hey? flash to looking at pictures that don't exist of my friends kate and vicki where they have tattoos that they don't have in real life. (both are covered in ink respectively... but my mind just twirled it all over the place.) flash to... waking up next to billy.
not being able to go back to sleep.
weird.
2 people sleeping together every night is so much different than one person sleeping alone.
so. much. different.
when i was trekking all over the midwest i was with him always. every time i called my mom to check in or something, she always just imbedded it in my brain to stick together. i think... even in the most extreme situations, like per say having to sleep outside in the cold... two people would survive a hell of a lot longer than just one. i see the same people covered in their tarps every night. if you don't come to the city much you might just think they're a pile of garbage... but some of them are frequent enough to me that i can think of their faces as i pass their respective hideaways. i love being partners. i wonder if it makes me a horrible person to feel better with someone... of course i'm always saying that i'm weak and spoiled, but it's really more about just working/living/feeling better about working as a pair.
being naked with that boy feels sooooo good.
((kitty is jumping around and he just made my leg bleed a big drop of blood, but i love him anyway.))
last night was filled with the lovely jessica, (a friend from rockland who 1ives on 14th street), my billy, a bottle of wine, a big blunt and 8 full episodes of curb your enthusiasm. (have you ever seen that show? it's so sarcastic and awkward and frustrated and amazing.) i got delightfully warm and giggly and had a very good time. shawn (my roommate) came home from boston, stayed about an hour and then left for purchase. i *love* having the house to myself with billy. it's what shows me that i really don't want roommates for too much longer... i want my own place again.
today.
i have a show!
i used to get so nervous when i first joined talk to plants, but now i'm just excited.
me and billy have been experimenting so much more with music lately at home.
it's so wonderful to have my cello and to hum a tune and be able to pick it out almost instantly. montana has a few guitars and a drum machine that billy is more than capable, but i little scared to rock out with. mini congas. i love making noise! i've been playing church music that i just can't forget from my childhood when i'm alone for some reason.. but it's pretty and relaxing so who cares. i'd really like to get a little pipe or flute... so that i can have a more mobile way to translate my musicThoughts, but then i just realize that i *do* always have my voice... so i'll make do.
why am i not tired at all???
usually i'm still awake from the night before at this time... but if i fall asleep i'm dead asleep for hours and hours.
i just jumped up and needed to turn my brain on. maybe i should do this more often.
i'm going to reply to everyone from my last post. (hello lauren! of course i remember you silly head! who can forget the few cool people that you meet that that whirlwind of a hellhole north rockland?) and then try to find the blunt roach from last night and make myself a yummy garlic grilled cheese for breakfast.
YUM.
xo
ps. does anybody want to buy me a vw westfalia? i'll take any of the ones that have running motors on ebay.
any one. beggars can't be choosers right!? hee hee. i know it's ridiculous... but i just had to ask.
DREAMDREAMDREAM.