i want his name to be patch. he'll be our baby.
i'm starting to feel it now,
when my neck is so weighed down that i can't straighten my back even if i try.
the hours all on top of one another today were quite lovely.
i know that i have to get some shit done; but i always feel like i need some sort of transition period.
today i spent it with the lovely people that i wanted to.
thank you for everything.
is this exhaustion? or do i just miss him too much already?
he doesn't answer his phone. i know it's on vibrate. and he's dead asleep,
but,
what am i supposed to do if i want to hear his voice?
vicki saved me from my house today.
i like not being stuck.
we picked up billy and went on a kitten hunt... (no kitten) :
we really want a kitten.
do you know anyone who's giving away free kittens?
because me and billy really have our hearts set.
me and billy were graced with vicki's car which we used to transport us to the popular retail chains in this area of the world.
when i was driving on the palisades parkway, going about 70 (i know, not that fast) it really hit me that i was in complete control of such a powerful machine. trusting myself to drive something that can move that fast and be that potentially dangerous. it wasn't even like an anxiety issue or anything like that, just like... a feeling of responsibility that so many people never think about. after walking so many places, or longboarding... sitting in the back seats of rockland's kid's cars seems dangerous. speedy confident and young. i don't fucking know, but cars have the potential to scare the living shit out of me.
my head weighs a hundred thousand pounds.
after we shopped. (ew) i dropped billy off... and met up with vicki and molly and karen.
he went back to the city, so now i'm in rockland without my partner.
it really doesn't feel natural or regular to do anything without him.
i don't know if that's good or bad or positive or what, but i know that it's how i feel.
but it feels good.
phew.
i talk about him so much i bet.
it shows what's on my mind...
with all of those girls i ate and played simpsons clue! (and i won, wa-hoo!)
i'm not usually a winner.
especially of board games and things like that...
hehe.
marge in the nuclear plant with the necklace... (i can't imagine marge choking mr. burns to death. but the game was fun.)
we ate ice cream at karen's
and then i got dropped off.
i really do think i should sleep now, i think i'm pushing 38 hours up...
i just want to knock my schedule a little back into "normal" rotation.
i loved seeing the sun today.
it was so warm and there for me.
me and vicki went to go wake up billy at his house because he wasn't answering his cell phone... it was SO cute. his room was filled with sun and his hair was all crazy and he was confused and happy to see me. the best. he looks like an angel when he first wakes up for some reason. glowy or something crazy like that... but the light was just so magnificant. seriously i take the greenness of rockland county for granted when i'm here a lot... but manhatten is making me breath in the air with a bit more thanks. i hadn't seen the sun in that angle for ages... and especially in such lush ligh.
my angel.
man... how am i going to survive til saturday?
::sell your car lisa!!!::
hee hee.
deadlines... it's all about pushing the deadlines.
my back hurts.
i love everyone.
hee hee.
please get in touch with me if you like... <3
when my neck is so weighed down that i can't straighten my back even if i try.
the hours all on top of one another today were quite lovely.
i know that i have to get some shit done; but i always feel like i need some sort of transition period.
today i spent it with the lovely people that i wanted to.
thank you for everything.
is this exhaustion? or do i just miss him too much already?
he doesn't answer his phone. i know it's on vibrate. and he's dead asleep,
but,
what am i supposed to do if i want to hear his voice?
vicki saved me from my house today.
i like not being stuck.
we picked up billy and went on a kitten hunt... (no kitten) :
we really want a kitten.
do you know anyone who's giving away free kittens?
because me and billy really have our hearts set.
me and billy were graced with vicki's car which we used to transport us to the popular retail chains in this area of the world.
when i was driving on the palisades parkway, going about 70 (i know, not that fast) it really hit me that i was in complete control of such a powerful machine. trusting myself to drive something that can move that fast and be that potentially dangerous. it wasn't even like an anxiety issue or anything like that, just like... a feeling of responsibility that so many people never think about. after walking so many places, or longboarding... sitting in the back seats of rockland's kid's cars seems dangerous. speedy confident and young. i don't fucking know, but cars have the potential to scare the living shit out of me.
my head weighs a hundred thousand pounds.
after we shopped. (ew) i dropped billy off... and met up with vicki and molly and karen.
he went back to the city, so now i'm in rockland without my partner.
it really doesn't feel natural or regular to do anything without him.
i don't know if that's good or bad or positive or what, but i know that it's how i feel.
but it feels good.
phew.
i talk about him so much i bet.
it shows what's on my mind...
with all of those girls i ate and played simpsons clue! (and i won, wa-hoo!)
i'm not usually a winner.
especially of board games and things like that...
hehe.
marge in the nuclear plant with the necklace... (i can't imagine marge choking mr. burns to death. but the game was fun.)
we ate ice cream at karen's
and then i got dropped off.
i really do think i should sleep now, i think i'm pushing 38 hours up...
i just want to knock my schedule a little back into "normal" rotation.
i loved seeing the sun today.
it was so warm and there for me.
me and vicki went to go wake up billy at his house because he wasn't answering his cell phone... it was SO cute. his room was filled with sun and his hair was all crazy and he was confused and happy to see me. the best. he looks like an angel when he first wakes up for some reason. glowy or something crazy like that... but the light was just so magnificant. seriously i take the greenness of rockland county for granted when i'm here a lot... but manhatten is making me breath in the air with a bit more thanks. i hadn't seen the sun in that angle for ages... and especially in such lush ligh.
my angel.
man... how am i going to survive til saturday?
::sell your car lisa!!!::
hee hee.
deadlines... it's all about pushing the deadlines.
my back hurts.
i love everyone.
hee hee.
please get in touch with me if you like... <3