movie review
Last night I watched the worst movie I've ever had the chance of seeing. It was called "Future War" and it was about humans abducted from the past by cyborgs and taken to an alien world as slave labor. The cyborgs also abducted dinosaurs and trained them as trackers for the runaway humans. The first scene in the movie shows a really shabby and very fake looking space ship approaching Earth and then a hot guy (Daniel Bernhardt) coming out of the ocean. All dressed, unfortunately. But the wet pants were hanging low on his (gorgeous) ass and that surely got my attention.
After that the movie just got better and better. The runaway is chased by a fat cyborg with a red mullet into a warehouse full with empty cardboard boxes. The producers surely were cheap... (Pretty much all cast was wearing checkered shirts-with or without sleeves- at some point in the movie.) In come the dinosaurs. They were red and saw red too. The dinosaur puppets looked as lifeless as they get. The only movement they were capable of was moving (slightly) their jaws. There were several kinds of red dinosaurs. From puppy dinosaurs that one can kill with the bare hand, to t-rex-es impersonators who could be killed with a smart cut to the throat with a knife. The dinosaurs run a muck in town while the runaway is saved by a novice nun wearing a short skirt. The nun who was an ex-hooker teaches the runaway English. It turns out he knew the Bible already... The police tries to stop the dinosaurs but apparently they're all shooting blanks... So the ex-hooker-current nun goes to the neighborhood gang leader to ask for help to get rid of the pests. In the end the poor red dinosaurs are all made extinct again and the fat cyborg is set on fire and the hot runaway gets his dream come true: he becomes a councilor for a drug hot line. THE END.
he was in Matrix too
and I've found a funny vid on youtube from a series I've never watched, but heard of: Blood Sport.
That's all, folks!
After that the movie just got better and better. The runaway is chased by a fat cyborg with a red mullet into a warehouse full with empty cardboard boxes. The producers surely were cheap... (Pretty much all cast was wearing checkered shirts-with or without sleeves- at some point in the movie.) In come the dinosaurs. They were red and saw red too. The dinosaur puppets looked as lifeless as they get. The only movement they were capable of was moving (slightly) their jaws. There were several kinds of red dinosaurs. From puppy dinosaurs that one can kill with the bare hand, to t-rex-es impersonators who could be killed with a smart cut to the throat with a knife. The dinosaurs run a muck in town while the runaway is saved by a novice nun wearing a short skirt. The nun who was an ex-hooker teaches the runaway English. It turns out he knew the Bible already... The police tries to stop the dinosaurs but apparently they're all shooting blanks... So the ex-hooker-current nun goes to the neighborhood gang leader to ask for help to get rid of the pests. In the end the poor red dinosaurs are all made extinct again and the fat cyborg is set on fire and the hot runaway gets his dream come true: he becomes a councilor for a drug hot line. THE END.
he was in Matrix too
and I've found a funny vid on youtube from a series I've never watched, but heard of: Blood Sport.
Click to viewThat's all, folks!