I've just returned home from one of those Zepter presentations and, of course, I can't wait to bitch about it. That's what LJ is for, after all!
First of all, I should state my opinion about this company. So in case you're a Zepter fan, you'd know to stay away from the rest of this post. Here we go.
I hate the snobs from Zepter who ask for outrageous prices for their famous NASA technology while there are on the market very good, similar products that are much much cheaper. The clients aren't any better. Snobs. I was looking at this old witch (she even had the wart on the nose) who sat in front of me - she was wearing a green striped skirt with some golden glitter, a black blouse with a flowered pattern with more gold glitter AND and shawl with even more gold glitter. I looked at her and I wanted to scream. My boss is a Zepter fan too - she felt quite at home in that public. (By the way, that's the reason I went to this presentation, it was a package deal, we all went from my office.)
The whole Zepter affair took place in a restaurant called "Ambassador" which is just a shot above fast food. They have weddings there, that would be the only difference. When we arrived, the dinner tables were set like for a wedding, with white table cloths and chair cloths with red satin bows.
We had three speakers who mostly READ from a flier like the ones we had on our table. We managed to browse through one of their copies and we laughed that there were stage indications like: "take a pause, look at the audience and smile".
One of the fliers got my attention. Because of this picture:
The happy generic Zepter family guy in the picture looks remarkably like Nash from FratmenTV. (gay porn)
one more pic, because he's so pretty
If you want to see ALL of Nash, click
here and
here.
Ok, enough of that. I won't talk much about the products Zepter is selling - except to say that I have doubts about the all-healing powers of colored light and that their massagers aren't that extraordinary - most of the women in the audience probably needed vibrators more than massagers. I'll talk about what interested me: the food.
The food consisted of aged and tasteless peanuts for the first hour and a half. Can't the NASA technology buy the good kind of peanuts? One little bottle of mineral water per participant. If you needed more, you just had to wait till you got home.
Like I said, after an hour and a half the REAL excitement started. The waitress brought us bread. Three slices each.
After another hour we got pleasantly surprised by the materialization of a cabbage salad on our tables. Things looked more hopeful than ever.
Another hour of sheer torture of boredom and the steak had arrived!!! The French fries were not comestible, but the steak was. Not the best thing, but it just seemed like a long awaited prize and we all ate it all. Hungry or not. It had to be done.
My boss contracted an apparatus to purify the air. I bet it smells like brimstone in her house. For obvious reasons.
BTW, another thing that annoys the shit out of me about Zepter is how you have to pay monthly installments for a year before you get the product. Maybe I wanted to pay it all now and have it now! Not that I EVER plan to become of customer. Which differs completely from what I wrote in the little questionnaire we were forced to fill in. Since I had to sign my name and all, I decided the best thing was to lie and say how much I believe in naturist therapies and the effectiveness of Zepter light beams and shit. I also said I am already using Zepter products. Well, we do have a Zepter ashtray at work and I think I touched it once!
Me and two of my colleagues deserted before the main event - the raffle. We thanked my boss's friend who invited us and said we'd enjoyed it. My boss stayed. Maybe she won a NASA toothpick or something.
Another 5 hours of my life gone.