This is why I'm hot! ...because I'm burning in Hell.
...if you are easily offended and/or don't like/take jokes about religion and assassination well, you probably want to skip this entry!
Via text message:
Me: can I have summer now?
Bobby: if I was god then yes
Me: maybe you should be god. Are there elections for that?
Bobby: I don't think it's a democratic process although the way some leaders act you can't tell
Me: so it's a dictatorship then? We can have a revolution!
Bobby: I'm not sure how we would go about that
Me: I don't know, do you think god could be assassinated? The jews managed it once, I think.
Bobby: lol where would we find him? Her?
Me: I don't know, it's probably going to be a white dude. That would explain a lot.
Bobby: yeah that's true
Me: bill gates maybe?
Bobby: I wouldn't mind. From what I know he's kind of an asshole.
Me: I feel like it would either be him, donald trump, or oprah.
Bobby: oprah is just the token black women killing 2 birds with one stone and they make her and us think she has power.
Me: point and match. I feel like donald trump would give himself better hair if he was god...so that leaves bill gates again? Oh! Or hugh hefner!
Bobby: hugh might work...he's under the radar. Maybe bill gates is just the cover. Cause lets face it, bill gates is a geek and women only like him for his money...if for anything at all.
Me: I feel like hugh hefner makes a lot of sense. I mean, he's like, ancient. He was probably born shortly after jesus got the ax, so you know, it covers the whole reincarnation/rising from the dead theory.
Bobby: and he supposedly gets it up fine
Me: without viagra according to holly!
Bobby: lol, well there you go
Me: so hugh hefner's god?
Bobby: apparently, that's our conclusion.
Also, kayla's reaction = Gold Stars.
Me: so I just sent the most politically incorrect text message of my life.
Kayla: hahaha, what was it?
Me: "I don't know, do you think god could be assassinated? The jews managed it once, I think."
Kayla: holy. Shit.
Me: hahaha, yeah, so I'm pretty much going to hell.
Kayla: pretty much.
Me: if I go to hell would you come with me or just leave?
Kayla: hahahahaha
Me: I'm now trying to figure out who god is?
Kayla: what do you mean who god is?
Me: well, so that we can assassinate him...
Kayla: wow dude. Wow. That is not okay.
Me: psh, it's just so we can bring democracy into religion! George Bush is my hero, obv.
...does anyone still love me?
Ps: I have my plane tickets and a place to stay, so Chicago is definitely happening! Also, I danced in the rain today at the beach. I love life a lot.
Via text message:
Me: can I have summer now?
Bobby: if I was god then yes
Me: maybe you should be god. Are there elections for that?
Bobby: I don't think it's a democratic process although the way some leaders act you can't tell
Me: so it's a dictatorship then? We can have a revolution!
Bobby: I'm not sure how we would go about that
Me: I don't know, do you think god could be assassinated? The jews managed it once, I think.
Bobby: lol where would we find him? Her?
Me: I don't know, it's probably going to be a white dude. That would explain a lot.
Bobby: yeah that's true
Me: bill gates maybe?
Bobby: I wouldn't mind. From what I know he's kind of an asshole.
Me: I feel like it would either be him, donald trump, or oprah.
Bobby: oprah is just the token black women killing 2 birds with one stone and they make her and us think she has power.
Me: point and match. I feel like donald trump would give himself better hair if he was god...so that leaves bill gates again? Oh! Or hugh hefner!
Bobby: hugh might work...he's under the radar. Maybe bill gates is just the cover. Cause lets face it, bill gates is a geek and women only like him for his money...if for anything at all.
Me: I feel like hugh hefner makes a lot of sense. I mean, he's like, ancient. He was probably born shortly after jesus got the ax, so you know, it covers the whole reincarnation/rising from the dead theory.
Bobby: and he supposedly gets it up fine
Me: without viagra according to holly!
Bobby: lol, well there you go
Me: so hugh hefner's god?
Bobby: apparently, that's our conclusion.
Also, kayla's reaction = Gold Stars.
Me: so I just sent the most politically incorrect text message of my life.
Kayla: hahaha, what was it?
Me: "I don't know, do you think god could be assassinated? The jews managed it once, I think."
Kayla: holy. Shit.
Me: hahaha, yeah, so I'm pretty much going to hell.
Kayla: pretty much.
Me: if I go to hell would you come with me or just leave?
Kayla: hahahahaha
Me: I'm now trying to figure out who god is?
Kayla: what do you mean who god is?
Me: well, so that we can assassinate him...
Kayla: wow dude. Wow. That is not okay.
Me: psh, it's just so we can bring democracy into religion! George Bush is my hero, obv.
...does anyone still love me?
Ps: I have my plane tickets and a place to stay, so Chicago is definitely happening! Also, I danced in the rain today at the beach. I love life a lot.