(no subject)
Just had an earth-shattering whole-family quarrel, complete with me sobbing uncontrollably, nearly catatonic Mum, extremely angry Gran and the discovery that the man that I've always regarded as a grandfather is no blood relative of mine, just my Grandmother's second husband, that her first one was a drunk and she got a divorce when Mum was barely six years old, and all that rot. Doesn't matter, though. Ryszard was still my Grandfather and no damn drunk is going to take his place.
And I hope, just hope, that Mum will try. Because what I wrote a few hours ago was bullshit - I can't cope. It is not simply something uneasy anymore, I was scared, just scared, even though there is no violence and only a bit of shouting, but if I have to choose between them, I will tear myself apart. But Mum promised. Promised to never make me choose. And Gran did, too. I just hope that they will keep that promise.
And on a more trivial note, my eyes are so fucking puffy that at times I can't see the fucking screen.
And I hope, just hope, that Mum will try. Because what I wrote a few hours ago was bullshit - I can't cope. It is not simply something uneasy anymore, I was scared, just scared, even though there is no violence and only a bit of shouting, but if I have to choose between them, I will tear myself apart. But Mum promised. Promised to never make me choose. And Gran did, too. I just hope that they will keep that promise.
And on a more trivial note, my eyes are so fucking puffy that at times I can't see the fucking screen.