Is that you, Charlemagne?
Okay...finally came across this one some time ago after a round of Shay's Box O Doom (patent and trademark still pending) -Sam style. Again for those of you not familiar with the rules - you're given a set of pieces of information that must be included in the story and then you have approximately 30 minutes to finish, edit at your own risk.
Beware funky punctuation and completely incorrect description. ^__^
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Main Character: Charlemagne
Location: Bangkok
Plot Twist: Interviewing a Cult Leader
Item: Elephant
"You know, this whole gimmick for web broadcasts is just getting downright ridiculous. I mean, come on...what could they have possibly been thinking?"
Hands gripped clumsily at long, entirely too heavy (and thus entirely too hot) robes as the elephant they were riding lumbered past a particularly close tree whose branches sought to reach out and snag any strand or piece of cloth that was unlucky enough to come in range...and he'd been warned by his boss how bloody expensive this get up was to rent and if there was any problem getting the safety deposit back on it, he'd be paying for it out of his paycheck until their show's ratings were better than those clowns on Channel 5's.
"Careful with the lingo, pal - you're supposed to be Charlemagne, remember? Mid day, middle ages news? You might want to brush up on your 'haths' and 'thees' and 'thous'...too bad you don't speak French."
"You're no help at all. How are we going to explain the camera, then, if I'm supposed to be Charlemagne? Technology, remember? Duh."
"Pretend it's got a friendly little demon in it that's been sanctioned by the church to document this historic meeting..."
A disgruntled frown seated itself between his eyebrows, knotting the skin until His Majesty Charlemagne practically had a unibrow going on at his cameraman's entirely too chipper explanation. He snorted and risked the chance of unbalancing on the only means of transportation to where he was supposed to be doing this interview, 'a short ride out of Bangkok, you won't even notice the delay' to glare over his shoulder at his sadistically smiling 'assistant.'
"Between Charlemagne and some dude that's leading a cult in Thailand."
"Exactly."
"Ungh." Why did he even bother, seriously? The show was doomed. Last week they'd had him dress up as a cowboy and had added a weather report, 'fer those of ya'll back on the ranch.' Never mind that they were operating out of Detroit. The time before that the gimmick had been Tarzan - probably because they figured that watching some guy shiver in a foot of snow, trying to do interviews in a loin cloth and wrap was just mean and cruel enough to draw in more viewers...and it had. And it had brought in more critics with them...and the censors.
And comments that they needed someone that looked the part a lot more than some pasty white guy.
Unfortunately, they couldn't sucker any one else into subjecting themselves to this kind of humiliation. I'm going to have to post an article about this somewhere - film and entertainment students BEWARE! That's what had suckered him into this whole thing. Practical application of what they've been teaching you! You'll learn more than just reading about theory...you'll actually be doing something with your degree...Pffft. Yeah. Right. You'll be doing something - you'll be sitting up on an elephant, heading out through the jungle outside of Bangkok, dressed as Charlemagne and on your way to interview some wannabe big shot cult leader of Asia...that's something, alright. Enough to get you in the loony bin.
He was just going to be thankful to get out of this in one piece with no mysterious illnesses contracted...and he was sweating enough where he wouldn't be surprised if he'd lost ten percent of his body weight when he got home.
As a group of people (cult members, you could tell by their clothes - there had to be some universal law that all cult members had to wear robes of some basic, bland color) - well armed people - stepped out to block the path he added another thing to be thankful for when he got home - not being shot.
I really need to get a new gig.
Beware funky punctuation and completely incorrect description. ^__^
-----------------------------
Main Character: Charlemagne
Location: Bangkok
Plot Twist: Interviewing a Cult Leader
Item: Elephant
"You know, this whole gimmick for web broadcasts is just getting downright ridiculous. I mean, come on...what could they have possibly been thinking?"
Hands gripped clumsily at long, entirely too heavy (and thus entirely too hot) robes as the elephant they were riding lumbered past a particularly close tree whose branches sought to reach out and snag any strand or piece of cloth that was unlucky enough to come in range...and he'd been warned by his boss how bloody expensive this get up was to rent and if there was any problem getting the safety deposit back on it, he'd be paying for it out of his paycheck until their show's ratings were better than those clowns on Channel 5's.
"Careful with the lingo, pal - you're supposed to be Charlemagne, remember? Mid day, middle ages news? You might want to brush up on your 'haths' and 'thees' and 'thous'...too bad you don't speak French."
"You're no help at all. How are we going to explain the camera, then, if I'm supposed to be Charlemagne? Technology, remember? Duh."
"Pretend it's got a friendly little demon in it that's been sanctioned by the church to document this historic meeting..."
A disgruntled frown seated itself between his eyebrows, knotting the skin until His Majesty Charlemagne practically had a unibrow going on at his cameraman's entirely too chipper explanation. He snorted and risked the chance of unbalancing on the only means of transportation to where he was supposed to be doing this interview, 'a short ride out of Bangkok, you won't even notice the delay' to glare over his shoulder at his sadistically smiling 'assistant.'
"Between Charlemagne and some dude that's leading a cult in Thailand."
"Exactly."
"Ungh." Why did he even bother, seriously? The show was doomed. Last week they'd had him dress up as a cowboy and had added a weather report, 'fer those of ya'll back on the ranch.' Never mind that they were operating out of Detroit. The time before that the gimmick had been Tarzan - probably because they figured that watching some guy shiver in a foot of snow, trying to do interviews in a loin cloth and wrap was just mean and cruel enough to draw in more viewers...and it had. And it had brought in more critics with them...and the censors.
And comments that they needed someone that looked the part a lot more than some pasty white guy.
Unfortunately, they couldn't sucker any one else into subjecting themselves to this kind of humiliation. I'm going to have to post an article about this somewhere - film and entertainment students BEWARE! That's what had suckered him into this whole thing. Practical application of what they've been teaching you! You'll learn more than just reading about theory...you'll actually be doing something with your degree...Pffft. Yeah. Right. You'll be doing something - you'll be sitting up on an elephant, heading out through the jungle outside of Bangkok, dressed as Charlemagne and on your way to interview some wannabe big shot cult leader of Asia...that's something, alright. Enough to get you in the loony bin.
He was just going to be thankful to get out of this in one piece with no mysterious illnesses contracted...and he was sweating enough where he wouldn't be surprised if he'd lost ten percent of his body weight when he got home.
As a group of people (cult members, you could tell by their clothes - there had to be some universal law that all cult members had to wear robes of some basic, bland color) - well armed people - stepped out to block the path he added another thing to be thankful for when he got home - not being shot.
I really need to get a new gig.