Absurd Locutions: How Long, Oh Lord, How Long? (Part 1)
This effusion is the first two paragraphs of a job posting on LinkedIn from a company called Grant Thornton, LLP:
<"Grant Thornton is collaborative, entrepreneurial and on the move. As part of a dynamic global organization of 30,000 people serving clients in more than 100 countries, we have the agility and focus it takes to be a leader.
We are committed to capitalizing on our strengths and serving dynamic organizations that share our values and drive. Our global values of collaboration, leadership, excellence, agility, respect and responsibility guide our behaviors and fuel our ambition… to be the firm that makes a difference, every day."
They then go into 15 PARAGRAPHS of job description full of similarly clear, concise prose. Only after you have scrolled through all of this do you find out they are an international tax and audit firm.
Normally, I don't publish the names of the organizations or people that I mock under the Absurd Locutions tag. I am breaking this rule because one of the primary tasks of the proposal writer they want to hire is to work in, abide by the culture of, and help to brand something called theStudio, which appears to be a contract prop shop they want to launch to serve other branches of their business as well as third parties. I publish their name because anyone who cares about good language should stay away -- far, far away.
Note: The title of this post is taken from George Bernard Shaw's great play, Saint Joan, and is part 1 of 2
<"Grant Thornton is collaborative, entrepreneurial and on the move. As part of a dynamic global organization of 30,000 people serving clients in more than 100 countries, we have the agility and focus it takes to be a leader.
We are committed to capitalizing on our strengths and serving dynamic organizations that share our values and drive. Our global values of collaboration, leadership, excellence, agility, respect and responsibility guide our behaviors and fuel our ambition… to be the firm that makes a difference, every day."
They then go into 15 PARAGRAPHS of job description full of similarly clear, concise prose. Only after you have scrolled through all of this do you find out they are an international tax and audit firm.
Normally, I don't publish the names of the organizations or people that I mock under the Absurd Locutions tag. I am breaking this rule because one of the primary tasks of the proposal writer they want to hire is to work in, abide by the culture of, and help to brand something called theStudio, which appears to be a contract prop shop they want to launch to serve other branches of their business as well as third parties. I publish their name because anyone who cares about good language should stay away -- far, far away.
Note: The title of this post is taken from George Bernard Shaw's great play, Saint Joan, and is part 1 of 2