Twin Souls: Chapter 14: The Mountain -- Part 3

[liralen]

Title: The Mountain - Part 3
Arc: Twin Souls
Fandom: Bleach
Beta: incandescens, without her this wouldn't be possible.
Character: Kyouraku
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3435
Summary: The tactics group comes back to Seireitei. Fast and under attack.
Disclaimer: I don't own or make money off of Bleach. It's all fictional. Really.

Comments

[nnoi]

MOAR!!!!

I'm sorry...I have nothing else to say that was intense and tiring and I can not imagine writing it and I want more I want to see how Ukitake is!!!!

also I love that Kisuke hides in the darndest palces...LOL very cute!

[liralen]

*hugs* for the tired. Wow. Thank you! *grin* There's half a chapter more, and then Yamamoto was like, no, ME now. Gah! Ahem.

Anyway... yay for Kisuke!! *giggles*

[incandescens]

This is great stuff. Nicely written, good characterisation, informative without being too much braindump -- and an excellent read. :)

[liralen]

Thank you so much!! *beam* I'm so glad that those aspects worked well for you. And thank you, so much, for smoothing out the read.

[zangetsugirl]

I'm somewhat less than coherent just now, so sorry in advance for that. I love, love, love the way you show the group coming together in the face of a crisis. The way they all fit in around each others' skills, abilities, strengths and weaknesses is positively fantastic. Also, Daisuke-san is made of awesome and I so love him. You write action well, there wasn't ever a point where I had to go back and check the names in the previous paragraph to figure out who was doing what. Everything flowed very well. I have to wonder who ordered the hunt on them, (because that's what it looked like to me) but I trust that we'll see in time, whatever it was. If all else fails, the boys can always sic Kisuke and Yoruichi on the problem. I can say from experience that kids who hide in the damnedest places also hear the damnedest things, particularly if you didn't want them to.

[liralen]

Thank you. Wow. I am *so* glad that the action flowed well for you, and that it made sense and no having to check back on stuff. That comment really made my day.

I don't know if the group would have fit together so well if there hadn't been the exercise earlier, so I wanted to do it this way... just show them falling in with and for each other now. I'm glad you saw that. *dances* about Daisuke-san.

The plots now have me about three or four chapters out. I really want to stretch the multi-plot muscles next. Should be fun.

[rasetsunyo]

Daisuke-san is SO AWESOME. :D Thank you for another intense chapter!

Shunsui went to Kauro who looked up at him. -- Kaoru?

Also just to let you know I am working on a picture for you right now but it might take some time to actually materialise. Shunsui's being difficult. ;D

[liralen]

Shunsui went to Kauro who looked up at him. -- Kaoru?

Oh, gosh, yes. I guess you can tell which paragraph I added after my beta was done? *laughter*

Thank you, so much!!

I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter!! And I'm glad you like Daisuke-san. I've been definitely enjoying him.

Poor you, Shuusui being difficult seems typical of him. *laughter* Thank you so much for working on something for me!! I appreciate it a *lot*.

[shadowgirl1605]

I think everyone's about already said what I'm about to, but it must be said so pish posh =D

I loved the way everyone's suddenly coming together in light of this crisis and working together to achieve what they need to achieve. I really love the way you write your OCs still and this just proves to me - at the very least - that you have a lot of very good potential to write original and make it captivating for the audience that will read your stuff 'cause you know I would definitely buy one of your novels, oh yes I would ... I also admire how much fact you put into your fiction, and it's not so incredibly overwhelming like it sometimes can be when we focus too much on the minor details, the perfection of describing something to make it come to life. You're just ... awesome, I suppose. Plainly and utterly awesome.

But you know I'm a sucker for Kisuke, so this was my favorite part: Kisuke picked the damnedest places to hide. ;D So cute.

[liralen]

I'm very glad that you said it!! Even after I distracted you from reading it last night. *laughter* Thank you.

I'm really glad that you like the dynamics of the boys with the OCs.

*blushes* big at the strikeout and I'm so glad the detail level wasn't overwhelming, but still good at keeping the attention. *blushes more* at the awesome... *beam*

It just seemed so... Kisuke. He *thinks* differently than most people, so I'm assuming he always surprises folks, even at hide and seek. It's giving me an idea for the contest. *grin* Thanks!!