Comments | liralen: Twin Souls: Chapter 9: Rescue

liralen

Twin Souls: Chapter 9: Rescue - part 1

Feb 22, 2008 13:29

Many thanks to incandescens for her beta and editor-fu.

Also thanks to sophiap for her comment that Shunsui wasn't really *there* in the first two chapters. I started wondering why... and this is what came up.

Title: Rescue - Part 1
Arc: Twin SoulsFandom: Bleach ( Read more... )

fanfic, bleach

Comments 18

nnoi February 23 2008, 16:10:22 UTC

Ah!!! LOL i loved loved love this line.....
"How in all the nine hells did you get to be so pure? Lily white and shining, you look like a bit of soot would stain you, smudge you out; but it's all wrapped around a will of steel and a flame of a heart that can cleanse anything, even spilled blood..."

I also love that Urahara is running around like he is playing tag i can see those two almost not taking it seriously even when it got to that point

also i like that the hell butterflies are questionable because of course they would have been questionable at some point

liralen February 23 2008, 16:25:07 UTC

*falls over*

Shun-in-my-head said you HAVE to put this in... and in this case, Jyuushiro came to my rescue and said what I wanted to say, "What does that have to do with ANYTHING??!" We all figured it out later, but when that line came out I was just blinking at it.

Yes. I am not entirely sure Urahara was taking it particularly seriously. *giggles*

Yeah... I think Shunsui doesn't actually trust the butterflies or the establishment that he knew they were going to go to...

And you've most definitively claimed first on all the chapters. *grin* Thank you.

incandescens February 23 2008, 22:36:17 UTC

Great stuff. And I still like Shunsui arriving to find the guard behind the tree, taking a leak. :)

liralen February 23 2008, 22:46:20 UTC

Yay! It gave me a giggle when I wrote it so I thought I should keep it. I'm glad it worked for you, too. Humor is so hard for me! Yay!

shadowgirl1605 February 24 2008, 01:14:23 UTC

My, my, Urahara just can't take a situation seriously, can he? :D No, seriously, I love chibi Kisuke and chibi Yoruichi. Sooooo cute~! And Shunsui's part here with his little adventure was something. I loved how you did Jyuushiro's perspective first and then Shunsui's. Made perfect sense and the details are great as always~! I can't wait to find out what happens next. :D Next chapter it is!

liralen February 24 2008, 01:20:57 UTC

*laughter* Though Urahara's methods were very... effective. Ouch.

Yay! The chibi's worked!!

Yeah, I haven't done much from Shunsui's perspective yet, there's more to come from him. I just had a really hard time writing from his point of view until I did the napping bit... and then I realized what his voice sounded like. It's very different than Jyuushiro's deliberate language, descriptions, and how he refers to people politely even in his own head. Shunsui, in the confrontation piece, refers to Ryuu very much less than politely in his own head, even.

I'm very glad that the switch worked for you!

shadowgirl1605 February 27 2008, 03:40:00 UTC

XD Urahara plays by his own rules, yes/no? Hehe.

And yes, the switch worked very well. :) Jyuushiro and Shunsui are two very different people and you show that perfectly here.

liralen February 27 2008, 04:55:17 UTC

Totally. Urahara definitely plays by his own rules, very effective rules, usually.

Good. Thank you!!

zangetsugirl February 24 2008, 03:00:08 UTC

Was that...Urahara and Yoruichi? Too cute, either way.

I finally figured out one of the things that's so striking about your Ukitake. (I'm slow sometimes, just bear with me.) He's very...direct. He's capable of talking around something if he absolutely has to, but he usually doesn't, particularly if it's Something Important. Or Shunsui, which is six of one, half-dozen of the other half the time. If he wasn't such an intrinsically kind person, it'd probably be rude, but from him, it's just... I don't know how to explain it, except to say yet again that I love the way you do Ukitake.

And that's all the comment I have the patience for with that cliff hanger there. ;D

liralen February 24 2008, 03:17:13 UTC

Wow. You're the first one to have touched on that, actually.

I pulled that directness from how he just went and destroyed the soukyoku in the Soul Society arc. He just *does* it because it's the right thing to do. I root it in his illness, in a way, he doesn't have the time to prevaricate, and has no patience for that. He acts today because he might not have tomorrow, and it's good to have friends to back you up, but even without Shunsui, I think he'd go ahead and do it anyway. Ukitake's integrity was what struck me the most about him and what made me interested enough to put all this effort into these stories.

I'm really glad that you like him, too. *grin*

Yay! The evil cliff-hanger!! It works! *giggles*

zangetsugirl February 24 2008, 03:36:34 UTC

*blinks* I am? Huh. Okay.

Integrity! That's the word I was looking for. This is what I get for commenting at the end of a long work day, only half my brain's working. Ukitake's integrity, or his sense of what integrity should be, permeates his every thought, word and deed. He's refined, in the sense that all the unnecessary parts of...himself have been washed away to leave the purest, strongest person he can be. And I completely believe that he does that consciously and deliberately. So, yes. Very much like.

liralen February 24 2008, 03:52:42 UTC

Wow.. yeah, you wrote that really beautifully, tired or not. *grin*. Justice. Twin fish of justice. I figure this is why they picked him... 'cause he always does his best by the just path of action.

rasetsunyo March 11 2008, 12:24:54 UTC

OH. That was most gloriously unexpected! And here I was taking Shunsui for some self-destructive frat boy. Very well done!

liralen March 11 2008, 15:52:36 UTC

*beam* I'm so glad it was a good surprise!!

He does seem mildly self-destructive at this point, but he's still got his sense of what's right and wrong and the ability to really act like the drunk fool to everyone. I think that's still core to Shunsui. But, yeah, he was a busy boy...