Where am I to go now that I've gone too far?
Hello, old chum.
I meant to do a four year anniversary post of my LiveJournal. But apparently, I started this LJ on the 31st of July and not the 31st of August in 2004 like I thought. Who knew? Four years is a long time. Every now and then I go back a ways and read some of my older ramblings. Because lets not kid ourselves, that's why I started this thing in the first place. To remind myself how stupid I am.
And that brings me to my next point. On Monday I'm going back to working at the machine shop I used to work at. Why? For a number of reasons, but I'm sure the most pressing would be money. Everything begins and ends with money.
Even though it's not the money itself I want. Atleast, I don't want it for myself. I want it for everyone else. My family most of all, but the branches go far. There's only so many toys a boy can buy before the gold loses its luster. To me, nothing quite equals the joy of being able to give someone something they want, and that's what I would do with my money. I don't know how to exactly describe that. I don't know if I'd call myself a charitable man. I just know how much things mean to people. And it means even more to me that they get what they want. That's all I can say.
Having said that, thus brings the issue of Phase 2. I will play poker for the rest of my life. I will try, and try, and try, and try again. That is why I know I will eventually be able to play with the best in the world. Even if it takes the rest of my life, I will see it happen. I will make the big money. Not just because I'm good or I believe in myself or whatever and whatnot, but because I have to.
That is the only way I can reconcile having done something that I want to do and to also accomplish something I want to accomplish. I'm not a genius, but I ain't stupid either. There's plenty of careers I could follow, but none ever appealed to me the way poker has. I feel like I belong. That's the simplest way to put it. And even if I fail as a player(which won't happen as I explained earlier), Phase 2a is to save up money and move close to a casino and be a poker dealer. Enjoy the community so to speak, while doing something I enjoy being around and love playing myself. That way I can have a career and a dream, if you wanna put it that way.
It's not much, but having read that, you know a fair amount of what I plan for my life to entail for the next few years. And the world is welcome to its opinion. Some people have said I'm wasting my life. They see someone who is (supposedly) so smart and so capable, and this is what I want? Other people are more accepting. Optimistic, perhaps. Or maybe some people actually believe in me?
My parents have even been accused of being bad parents for letting me turn out the way I am. I don't think I could begin to get into how deeply that hurts me. I have great parents. So, for their sake, I will show them. Again, not because I can or even because I want to, but because I have to.
That about covers the update everyone in LJ-land and Facebookville. Just remember, I don't always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty, my friends.
I meant to do a four year anniversary post of my LiveJournal. But apparently, I started this LJ on the 31st of July and not the 31st of August in 2004 like I thought. Who knew? Four years is a long time. Every now and then I go back a ways and read some of my older ramblings. Because lets not kid ourselves, that's why I started this thing in the first place. To remind myself how stupid I am.
And that brings me to my next point. On Monday I'm going back to working at the machine shop I used to work at. Why? For a number of reasons, but I'm sure the most pressing would be money. Everything begins and ends with money.
Even though it's not the money itself I want. Atleast, I don't want it for myself. I want it for everyone else. My family most of all, but the branches go far. There's only so many toys a boy can buy before the gold loses its luster. To me, nothing quite equals the joy of being able to give someone something they want, and that's what I would do with my money. I don't know how to exactly describe that. I don't know if I'd call myself a charitable man. I just know how much things mean to people. And it means even more to me that they get what they want. That's all I can say.
Having said that, thus brings the issue of Phase 2. I will play poker for the rest of my life. I will try, and try, and try, and try again. That is why I know I will eventually be able to play with the best in the world. Even if it takes the rest of my life, I will see it happen. I will make the big money. Not just because I'm good or I believe in myself or whatever and whatnot, but because I have to.
That is the only way I can reconcile having done something that I want to do and to also accomplish something I want to accomplish. I'm not a genius, but I ain't stupid either. There's plenty of careers I could follow, but none ever appealed to me the way poker has. I feel like I belong. That's the simplest way to put it. And even if I fail as a player(which won't happen as I explained earlier), Phase 2a is to save up money and move close to a casino and be a poker dealer. Enjoy the community so to speak, while doing something I enjoy being around and love playing myself. That way I can have a career and a dream, if you wanna put it that way.
It's not much, but having read that, you know a fair amount of what I plan for my life to entail for the next few years. And the world is welcome to its opinion. Some people have said I'm wasting my life. They see someone who is (supposedly) so smart and so capable, and this is what I want? Other people are more accepting. Optimistic, perhaps. Or maybe some people actually believe in me?
My parents have even been accused of being bad parents for letting me turn out the way I am. I don't think I could begin to get into how deeply that hurts me. I have great parents. So, for their sake, I will show them. Again, not because I can or even because I want to, but because I have to.
That about covers the update everyone in LJ-land and Facebookville. Just remember, I don't always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty, my friends.