for those of you wondering why i've been a basket case lately
billie geneva: i'm so happy for you! he seems so cute! i want to meet him this summer
mychucksarepink: i hope so. we're having problems about this whole move to georgia, huge stress
billie geneva: who's moving to georgia?
mychucksarepink: definatly him, possibly me
billie geneva: where in Georgia? are you not sure if you want to go or not?
mychucksarepink: marrietta, just north of atlanta. he's going to school in september, so he's going, no matter what. he's making an offer on a condo (hell-hole of a place). and he wants me to come along. but he also wants me to know that he doesn't want to take me away from my family, friends, home, etc. with no promises or commitments from him. so i'd be moving up there for my boyfriend of (by that time) 7 months, who doesn't even want to think about getting engaged until he's been dating someone at least a year (this came up in a survey)
billie geneva: a survey?
mychucksarepink: you know, one of those where do you think you'll be in ten months...it was stupid, something he pulled off one of his friends lj's...he gets bored at work alot
billie geneva: so basically, he wants you to take this huge risk with no guarantees that it will work out?
mychucksarepink: he tells me he wants me to go, but at the same time wouldn't expect me to make that kind of sacrific just for him. and we both feel like our relationship would not survive living 5 hours apart for 3 years
billie geneva: so it's either move to georgia or break up?
mychucksarepink: that's what im afraid of
mychucksarepink: and the thing is, i would totally go, with a few requests on the apartment. the wallpaper needs to be pulled down, holes in the walls patched up, and the whole place painted (all stuff he and his dad have done before and could do in a long weekend). the carpet would need to be pulled up and replaced, and the old linoleum in the bathroom and kitchen would need to be pulled up and replaced with tile. tile would also need to be put down in the laundry room, which is just bare concrete right now. and a washer and dryer would need to be installed...he thinks that's a luxury (actually, he thinks all of this is a luxury, he would sleep on the floor just the way it is....risking getting god knows what kind of fungus from the place) but this is one thing i absolutly have to have. i've even offered to pay for them, it'd only run me around $700
billie geneva: man, what kind of an apartment is this?
mychucksarepink: it's a condo, bottom floor in a two story building (or possibly three), built in 1984 and looks like the inside hasn't had any work done since then...gas stove, which i've never used before....
mychucksarepink: we do great when we're together, and have trips to see each other planned...2 and a half hours away isn't too bad a drive for me...but when we go too long without seeing each other, tension builds and we start sqabbling
billie geneva: yeah, i definitely understand that. he couldn't move somewhere closer? what do you think he wants you to do?
mychucksarepink: he's been preapproved for a mortgage, and is in the middle of negotiations to buy it. and the school is Life, a chiropractic school that is almost right across the street from this place, he'd be able to just ride his bike to class every day. so him moving closer is really not an option
mychucksarepink: he wants me to go, we don't want to be apart. but he's afraid that i'll start resenting him for moving up there for nothing but him
billie geneva: that's neat-he wants to be a chiropractor. what would you do if you moved? could you transfer from your job?
mychucksarepink: i may be able to transfer to another barnes and noble in marietta (there are two there), so finding a job shouldn't be too hard, though i already know traffic is going to be a new stress factor
billie geneva: are you afraid that you just won't be happy there if you go?
mychuckarepink: well, i'll be 1 &1/2 hours from birmingham where monica (my old roomie), brian and eric (my cousins), jack and jackie (uncle and cousin) live. butter is over in colombus which is about an hour away
billie geneva: that would be good. it's not like you wouldn't have any friends you could sometimes hang out with. it seems like you would know better that anyone else. do you think you would resent him? what do yo think is the best thing for you?
mychucksarepink: one of the issues we're having right now, is i wanted the seller to make the improvements (paint the place, put down new carpet and tile) and have it written into the contract. ron instead had a redecorating allowence written in, so if/when she accepts the offer, he gets $9000 (at least, the last time i heard the counter offer, that's the amount) right back. and in my head, i'm going no no no. he's going to go, 'well, i need to use this money for something else', and the improvements are going to get put off, and put off...and before i know it, i'm going to be moving into the same hell hole
billie geneva: yeah, that's a lot of money. i can see how that would be tempting
mychucksarepink: another problem we're having is the dog issue. you know me and my dogs. when we were first talking about it, he didn't really want to get a dog for at least a year. and i'm telling him, i can't go that long, i really need a dog, especially if i'm uprooting my life. and i can't take one of my dogs, they're really moms, they would all miss each other too much. i told him i would take on the responsibility and all the bills.
billie geneva: why doesn't he want a dog?
mychucksarepink: cost. he's totally obsessed with money. in college he got into the credit card trap (you and i both know how that is). plus he works for a bank, so he accounts for every nickle and dime, it's crazy
billie geneva: oh yeah, that can make you paranoid. i don't see what the problem would be if you took the responsibility for paying for it. well, i don't know him, but it seems like you have been really happy with him lately. i would hate to see that go
mychucksarepink: well, we hit a snag in the dog department. mom has kinda been freaking out about the dogs lately. fuzzy's been biting more lately, and if we can't figure out what to do, we may have to put him down...and they've all had medical problems and moms freaking out about the bills. she really freaked me out the other night, and i had a talk with ron, if mom were to get rid of the dogs, i wouldn't let her, i'd take them myself. i asked him if he'd be willing to do that, and he told me fuzzy was a deal breaker. which is really upsetting, because if something happened and i had to bring the dogs with me, i'd hope he'd accept them because he loves me
billie geneva: yeah, you would think that he would realize how much they mean to you and accept it. it seems like he should be willing to compromise some
mychucksarepink: thank you! he thinks allowing me to have one new dog was a big compromise for him. and then telling me he'd take in cocoa and button was an even bigger sacrific for him.
billie geneva: when do you have to make a decision?
mychucksarepink: well, we go to d.c. in may. i've asked him to let me wait til then to make a decision
billie geneva: at least you have some time then
mychucksarepink: he sees it as me "hating the condo", and "not really wanting to go", so i'm "stalling". i see it as we've only been dating 3 months and it would give me more time to figure it out
billie geneva: yeah. i didn't realize you've been dating that short of time. that's a big step for such a new relationship
mychucksarepink: yeah, we started dating right after christmas. and we have know each other about 5 years(kinda)
billie geneva: i don't know what to tell you amanda. you just need to do what's best for you. i'm going to be sad if you go though :-(
mychucksarepink: i know...we'd move at the end of july. well, he'd be moving in late july....i told him i wouldn't move til those 3 things i asked for were taken care of
billie geneva: well, like i said, only you know what the best thing would be. he seems like he treats you good
mychucksarepink: i hope so. we're having problems about this whole move to georgia, huge stress
billie geneva: who's moving to georgia?
mychucksarepink: definatly him, possibly me
billie geneva: where in Georgia? are you not sure if you want to go or not?
mychucksarepink: marrietta, just north of atlanta. he's going to school in september, so he's going, no matter what. he's making an offer on a condo (hell-hole of a place). and he wants me to come along. but he also wants me to know that he doesn't want to take me away from my family, friends, home, etc. with no promises or commitments from him. so i'd be moving up there for my boyfriend of (by that time) 7 months, who doesn't even want to think about getting engaged until he's been dating someone at least a year (this came up in a survey)
billie geneva: a survey?
mychucksarepink: you know, one of those where do you think you'll be in ten months...it was stupid, something he pulled off one of his friends lj's...he gets bored at work alot
billie geneva: so basically, he wants you to take this huge risk with no guarantees that it will work out?
mychucksarepink: he tells me he wants me to go, but at the same time wouldn't expect me to make that kind of sacrific just for him. and we both feel like our relationship would not survive living 5 hours apart for 3 years
billie geneva: so it's either move to georgia or break up?
mychucksarepink: that's what im afraid of
mychucksarepink: and the thing is, i would totally go, with a few requests on the apartment. the wallpaper needs to be pulled down, holes in the walls patched up, and the whole place painted (all stuff he and his dad have done before and could do in a long weekend). the carpet would need to be pulled up and replaced, and the old linoleum in the bathroom and kitchen would need to be pulled up and replaced with tile. tile would also need to be put down in the laundry room, which is just bare concrete right now. and a washer and dryer would need to be installed...he thinks that's a luxury (actually, he thinks all of this is a luxury, he would sleep on the floor just the way it is....risking getting god knows what kind of fungus from the place) but this is one thing i absolutly have to have. i've even offered to pay for them, it'd only run me around $700
billie geneva: man, what kind of an apartment is this?
mychucksarepink: it's a condo, bottom floor in a two story building (or possibly three), built in 1984 and looks like the inside hasn't had any work done since then...gas stove, which i've never used before....
mychucksarepink: we do great when we're together, and have trips to see each other planned...2 and a half hours away isn't too bad a drive for me...but when we go too long without seeing each other, tension builds and we start sqabbling
billie geneva: yeah, i definitely understand that. he couldn't move somewhere closer? what do you think he wants you to do?
mychucksarepink: he's been preapproved for a mortgage, and is in the middle of negotiations to buy it. and the school is Life, a chiropractic school that is almost right across the street from this place, he'd be able to just ride his bike to class every day. so him moving closer is really not an option
mychucksarepink: he wants me to go, we don't want to be apart. but he's afraid that i'll start resenting him for moving up there for nothing but him
billie geneva: that's neat-he wants to be a chiropractor. what would you do if you moved? could you transfer from your job?
mychucksarepink: i may be able to transfer to another barnes and noble in marietta (there are two there), so finding a job shouldn't be too hard, though i already know traffic is going to be a new stress factor
billie geneva: are you afraid that you just won't be happy there if you go?
mychuckarepink: well, i'll be 1 &1/2 hours from birmingham where monica (my old roomie), brian and eric (my cousins), jack and jackie (uncle and cousin) live. butter is over in colombus which is about an hour away
billie geneva: that would be good. it's not like you wouldn't have any friends you could sometimes hang out with. it seems like you would know better that anyone else. do you think you would resent him? what do yo think is the best thing for you?
mychucksarepink: one of the issues we're having right now, is i wanted the seller to make the improvements (paint the place, put down new carpet and tile) and have it written into the contract. ron instead had a redecorating allowence written in, so if/when she accepts the offer, he gets $9000 (at least, the last time i heard the counter offer, that's the amount) right back. and in my head, i'm going no no no. he's going to go, 'well, i need to use this money for something else', and the improvements are going to get put off, and put off...and before i know it, i'm going to be moving into the same hell hole
billie geneva: yeah, that's a lot of money. i can see how that would be tempting
mychucksarepink: another problem we're having is the dog issue. you know me and my dogs. when we were first talking about it, he didn't really want to get a dog for at least a year. and i'm telling him, i can't go that long, i really need a dog, especially if i'm uprooting my life. and i can't take one of my dogs, they're really moms, they would all miss each other too much. i told him i would take on the responsibility and all the bills.
billie geneva: why doesn't he want a dog?
mychucksarepink: cost. he's totally obsessed with money. in college he got into the credit card trap (you and i both know how that is). plus he works for a bank, so he accounts for every nickle and dime, it's crazy
billie geneva: oh yeah, that can make you paranoid. i don't see what the problem would be if you took the responsibility for paying for it. well, i don't know him, but it seems like you have been really happy with him lately. i would hate to see that go
mychucksarepink: well, we hit a snag in the dog department. mom has kinda been freaking out about the dogs lately. fuzzy's been biting more lately, and if we can't figure out what to do, we may have to put him down...and they've all had medical problems and moms freaking out about the bills. she really freaked me out the other night, and i had a talk with ron, if mom were to get rid of the dogs, i wouldn't let her, i'd take them myself. i asked him if he'd be willing to do that, and he told me fuzzy was a deal breaker. which is really upsetting, because if something happened and i had to bring the dogs with me, i'd hope he'd accept them because he loves me
billie geneva: yeah, you would think that he would realize how much they mean to you and accept it. it seems like he should be willing to compromise some
mychucksarepink: thank you! he thinks allowing me to have one new dog was a big compromise for him. and then telling me he'd take in cocoa and button was an even bigger sacrific for him.
billie geneva: when do you have to make a decision?
mychucksarepink: well, we go to d.c. in may. i've asked him to let me wait til then to make a decision
billie geneva: at least you have some time then
mychucksarepink: he sees it as me "hating the condo", and "not really wanting to go", so i'm "stalling". i see it as we've only been dating 3 months and it would give me more time to figure it out
billie geneva: yeah. i didn't realize you've been dating that short of time. that's a big step for such a new relationship
mychucksarepink: yeah, we started dating right after christmas. and we have know each other about 5 years(kinda)
billie geneva: i don't know what to tell you amanda. you just need to do what's best for you. i'm going to be sad if you go though :-(
mychucksarepink: i know...we'd move at the end of july. well, he'd be moving in late july....i told him i wouldn't move til those 3 things i asked for were taken care of
billie geneva: well, like i said, only you know what the best thing would be. he seems like he treats you good