i'm in a state(of disrepair)

[liquidtumble]

the telephone won't stop ringing, someone's banging on the door, i'm an emotional and physical wreck from the night before. there's a tie and a suit on my tv trying to sell me dreams, turn the channel to a half naked girl with her silicone lips round an ice cream. i pull myself. i pull myself to my feet, grab some cash, the last of next week's, throw on my coat and i hit the street, roam around and see who i can meet. if your brain can't figure it out so far, let's get together, i'll meet you at the bar. it's been a bitch of a day but i'm sure we can cope. you get the drinks, i'll make the smoke, let's not rock, let's roll.i'm still together, i'm not under control head for a club where the music is slow, where the girls get the drinks and never say no, break the chain to my emotional weight, crash through the point of getting in a state. i can't speak but i can still communicate. kick up the sound, let's shake and vibrate. i soak myself to soothe the sting in sanctuary medicines.at times i only breath when i'm with you. lets not rock, lets roll, you get the drinks, i'll lose control.

i scratched in in the mirror
carved it in the bed
wrote in on the ceiling
ingrained it in my head
these are the things that you always wanted to do
i sent it in a letter to the ones i love the best
tattooed it on my body, right across my chest
these are the things that you always wanted to do
but the clock keeps ticking, tick tock
the rain keeps falling, drip drop

another days away.

i wish my life wasn't so busy, i need to get away. i had a job interview yesterday for a job i want so much, i find out monday & i'm all panic-stricken. hands shake & i can't sleep.

if i don't get it, it'll one step forward & two steps back.

but it won't & i'm being stupid, think positive, possibly, this job i could get, i'd be awesome for it. i know i would.

& you know what, if they don't give it to me, i'll just apply again.