so much bad news
so much bad news. i must admit to ever one, though they will be greatly disapointed, that yes i was talking to michael again and once again believeing his crap of how he loved me. serves me right. i wonder if he is just doing this to see how many times i believe it and how many times he can hurt me. it sucks to be me believing that and all. god and he said that that little prissy preppy girl could beat me up. now i will get into this fight and prove to his ass just how tough i am. on to more bad news. the fact that we might be selling this house. it blows majorly. i have lived here since i was 4 and god damnit that is a long time. i like it here just fine and i would miss my beautiful van gogh room. it is so blue and pretty i want to stay in it. thats just dads. my mom might be moving to a whole new city. possibly if i dont get into uhs and she wants me to be in a good school. i want that i want to move. to move to a new life but god damnit i dont want to leave sally and emily. i doubt matt would go with us if we moved cause he will be a senior next year and he doesnt want to move his senior. hmmm that would suck. i just dont know what is going on right now i mean everything is turning upside down again. i can deal with the name calling and the being used and all this shit from michael and amber and sarah and whoever else did it. that doesnt bother me one bit. talking shit i can take but not my whole life being flipped around again. everything gets good then bad and it just fucking like my life is bipolar. i dont know how people survive being teens. on top of that i dont sleep well anymore. i have been getting very restless at night. i will go to sleep at around 11 and wake up and hour later and just stare at the walls and then about 2 hours later ill fall back to sleep and again ill wake up about an hour later. i have been wanting to sleep later because when i finally get back to sleep i get woken up to go to school. im so glad its almost the weekend i dont think i can take much more school. all the teachers have been watching us extra carefully lately, the principal even removed one of my notes from the trash and put it in her pocket, ewww trash picker. fucking bitch is what she is. i hate hate hate her. along with the majority of this world. at least the portion i know. sammy is acting all depressed latly and it is bugging me. im not sure if she is wanting attention or something is really wrong. i know her dog is dying but she wouldnt be that depressed since it will be about 2 years before it actually dies.. but yea back to the bad news. i dont think i get to go to sahuaro at all anymore. i dont know if it is even an option. i dont know if i want to live any more. screw the world. thanks for caring. buh by.
rachel
rachel