Hostle sucks......
Chris got me on a rant now, and I might as well just keep it going.....
Hostel as a Horror flick was an abysmal failure. In the standard Cliché of horror flicks it did meet some of the criteria; gratuitous sex, gratuitous gore, and shock value but it lacks any tangible scares. Suspense was strangely absent, and at the end of this review you will have an understanding as to why.
The sex scenes had a lot of potential. With the immense hotness of Barbara Nedeljakova it had the potential of curing erectile dysfunction permanently. The film is replete with smoking hot women; that is not the problem. The root flaw of the film is it’s not focused. Just having a plethora of tits and ass isn't enough. The film is practically pornography as it is, but it's poorly executed pornography. And that pisses me off.
The gore in the film is probably the most graphic you will see in any modern horror flick made for the US market, but it's all handled so nonchalantly that it just makes for a gross-out scene rather then a scare. Not even Takashi Miike can save this movie. Oh no, he didn't direct this, just a walk on cameo part. Too bad really, because this waste of an hour and a half lacks all the edge and depth Miike brings to a project. The film as a whole is about as two dimensional as an original Nintendo, but not quite as fun.
The nonchalantness is the real story of this movie. The First half of the film is filled with the three main protagonists acting like annoying tourist douche bags, smoking pot and trying to get laid in Amsterdam. It's like Eli Roth was just to angst ridden and non conformist to develop and background for these characters. No time is spent forming any kind of emotional investment in the characters; when the first two get killed I was glad. What the fuck is that?
What seemed to be Roth's main goal with this film is a portrayal of westerners as boorish, rude and insensitive to other cultures. The patrons of "elite hunting" pay more for westerners, with Americans bringing the highest price. He was also on CNN and pulled a Chomsky so I am reading into the films "underlying" intention, if it has one.
ps.
Optic nerves don't ooze yellow-milky-shit when you cut them. They don't ooze period!
Hostel as a Horror flick was an abysmal failure. In the standard Cliché of horror flicks it did meet some of the criteria; gratuitous sex, gratuitous gore, and shock value but it lacks any tangible scares. Suspense was strangely absent, and at the end of this review you will have an understanding as to why.
The sex scenes had a lot of potential. With the immense hotness of Barbara Nedeljakova it had the potential of curing erectile dysfunction permanently. The film is replete with smoking hot women; that is not the problem. The root flaw of the film is it’s not focused. Just having a plethora of tits and ass isn't enough. The film is practically pornography as it is, but it's poorly executed pornography. And that pisses me off.
The gore in the film is probably the most graphic you will see in any modern horror flick made for the US market, but it's all handled so nonchalantly that it just makes for a gross-out scene rather then a scare. Not even Takashi Miike can save this movie. Oh no, he didn't direct this, just a walk on cameo part. Too bad really, because this waste of an hour and a half lacks all the edge and depth Miike brings to a project. The film as a whole is about as two dimensional as an original Nintendo, but not quite as fun.
The nonchalantness is the real story of this movie. The First half of the film is filled with the three main protagonists acting like annoying tourist douche bags, smoking pot and trying to get laid in Amsterdam. It's like Eli Roth was just to angst ridden and non conformist to develop and background for these characters. No time is spent forming any kind of emotional investment in the characters; when the first two get killed I was glad. What the fuck is that?
What seemed to be Roth's main goal with this film is a portrayal of westerners as boorish, rude and insensitive to other cultures. The patrons of "elite hunting" pay more for westerners, with Americans bringing the highest price. He was also on CNN and pulled a Chomsky so I am reading into the films "underlying" intention, if it has one.
ps.
Optic nerves don't ooze yellow-milky-shit when you cut them. They don't ooze period!