I Dont Know?
I pretty much dont know how to explain the shit that im feeling right now. All i know is that i do not handle stress well, and i will be the first to admit it. everything just seems like its all a dream right now, at this point everyone is just in a horrible mood.... and i really dont know what it is. I think a lot of it is that everything and everyone is changing, and no one wants to admit it. Its March, We Have 3 Months of school left. And then, We are college students. I dont care what anyone says, its scary, its scary as hell. I mean, i Will always love my friends and i wont ever forget all the good times i had with everyone, but everyone is drifting apart and i knew it was going to happen. We all have different goals, different futures planned out, so we are all going to act differently pending on what we have decided to do with our lives, if anything at all. Its crazy what fear will do to a person. I am definitely scared, but im actually sure about something for the first time in a while.... And i will leave for college, i promise you that. I am not letting my fears or anyone elses fears get in the way of what i want to do. Like i said in my last entry, i can always come back if i dont like it.... But i dont want to live the rest of my life going " what if....what if?" I wont ever know what i can really be, unless i apply myself and learn to depend on myself, which is going to be hard. But life isnt easy and it never will be, so im going where i might have a future, try and make it a tad easier. As for my relationship, i love aaron. And thats all i really have to say.... Shit gets tough sometimes, thats how relationships are. We've had an abundant amount good times so im not going to let this break us. His parents are a problem that will be solved with 16 hours of travel. Until then, I will deal with it. School is kinda on the fence right now, Its just bc i missed two days... i really didnt miss anything, it just makes me feel like i did. As Soon as this anatomy test is over with and that economic article is finished, i will be fine and realize im not behind... its all psychological. But Ive rambled long enough, I have to go finish my econ and force my dad to fill out my freakin FAFSA, that would be nice.
-*Jacqui
-*Jacqui