(no subject)
Yeah, as things seem to be looking up, shit always has to hit the fan somehow.
Let's begin:
I'm always stuck in the middle between Aaron and Katie/Leah. Never good. Not sure what I'm supposed to do bout it. I just know I always seem to be the messenger and everyone gets mad at me. bah!
I'm soooo poor and have no idea how I can pay off my old apartment and PUD bill. And I'm not sure how aaron and I will be able to get a place in june with our credits not be that great. Stressful!!!
I don't mind being single, but some nights I wish I had someone. Granted, I do have someone to fall back on and I feel safe and comfortable with. But that situation always ends up badly, as we all know. ugh. Luckily my feelings for him are way different than they were before.
aaaaand on to the biggest upset. ugh. So Leah is starting to like and hang out with one of my biggest enemies. I really don't have many, but he and his friends for no good reason really don't like me and have treated me like shit for years. so to have one of your closest friends all of a sudden hanging with them and trying to date one of them is wayyyy disturbing. Don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy. But at what expense? Our friendship? Is a shitty hardcore dude worth that? I dunno. It makes me look like a fool. Like "hey! I'm stealing one of your best friends! Sucks for you!!". Just bothers me. and like at shows, totally gonna suck. She'll have to go back and forth and I'll get pissed and then shit will hit the fan again. I know I know. I should just get over it. But seriously NO ONE treats me so bad I cry over it, but they have. I felt like I was back in 3rd grade when the first graders called me fat. Like really? Do I deserve to ever feel that way again? no! So for her to be so naive about it and say it won't change our friendship is bullshit. It already has. and she says "oh, he says he'll make a concious effort to be nice to you now "is sooooo fucked! It won't be genuine, so what the fuck is the point? gah! I've been crying about this all day today and I just don't know what to do. and she's stressed cus she doesn't want me upset. But seriously...this is a win/lose situation.
aand lastly. I think I wanna drop out of the music scene. I'm just so sick of this drama and sick of all the bullshit. I'm 22, I'm over it. It's time to act like a grown-up for once.
::sigh::
fuck my life.
Let's begin:
I'm always stuck in the middle between Aaron and Katie/Leah. Never good. Not sure what I'm supposed to do bout it. I just know I always seem to be the messenger and everyone gets mad at me. bah!
I'm soooo poor and have no idea how I can pay off my old apartment and PUD bill. And I'm not sure how aaron and I will be able to get a place in june with our credits not be that great. Stressful!!!
I don't mind being single, but some nights I wish I had someone. Granted, I do have someone to fall back on and I feel safe and comfortable with. But that situation always ends up badly, as we all know. ugh. Luckily my feelings for him are way different than they were before.
aaaaand on to the biggest upset. ugh. So Leah is starting to like and hang out with one of my biggest enemies. I really don't have many, but he and his friends for no good reason really don't like me and have treated me like shit for years. so to have one of your closest friends all of a sudden hanging with them and trying to date one of them is wayyyy disturbing. Don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy. But at what expense? Our friendship? Is a shitty hardcore dude worth that? I dunno. It makes me look like a fool. Like "hey! I'm stealing one of your best friends! Sucks for you!!". Just bothers me. and like at shows, totally gonna suck. She'll have to go back and forth and I'll get pissed and then shit will hit the fan again. I know I know. I should just get over it. But seriously NO ONE treats me so bad I cry over it, but they have. I felt like I was back in 3rd grade when the first graders called me fat. Like really? Do I deserve to ever feel that way again? no! So for her to be so naive about it and say it won't change our friendship is bullshit. It already has. and she says "oh, he says he'll make a concious effort to be nice to you now "is sooooo fucked! It won't be genuine, so what the fuck is the point? gah! I've been crying about this all day today and I just don't know what to do. and she's stressed cus she doesn't want me upset. But seriously...this is a win/lose situation.
aand lastly. I think I wanna drop out of the music scene. I'm just so sick of this drama and sick of all the bullshit. I'm 22, I'm over it. It's time to act like a grown-up for once.
::sigh::
fuck my life.