i am unknown to you and i think im lost...surfersaurusSeptember 13 2004, 10:54:59 UTC
God damn this brain of mine. It won't let me sleep. It wants to work in overtime, driving me closer to the cliff's edge of madness. It aims to destroy me. I'm lying in bed trying to sleep and I can't stop thinking about shit I need to do, write, say. I'm trying to process this out through writing, so bear with me, if you will. It's like a splinter in my hand or bile on my stomach that I just need to force out in order to feel comfortable. I want to shut it off, but I drive around in circles in my head when I try to idle my thoughts. I've got so much shit on my mind I just need to vent. I've got class tomorrow morning, actually this morning in like six hours. I'm trying to figure the words I plan to use when explaining to my journalism professor that the reason for my absence in his class last Wednesday was incarceration. Then, I've got all these ideas looming around in my head that I want to pitch to the newspaper and see if they'll let me write. Fuck, I'll take over if they'd let me. I've got interviews and stories lined up out the ass. I'm just afraid my ambition out-weighs my ability. We'll see. Then on top of all this, I've got my autobiography, that is years away from being finished, standing there in the background, waiting to be written. I'm scared to write it I think. Scared and excited. I'm afraid I'll ruin any chances of respect and job opportunities by being completely honest, but then again, it may work to my advantage and I'll prosper. I need to get the ball rolling on this book because it will blow people outta the water and blow similar books off the shelves. I just got to find the means and a way to get it out there. I've been pitching it to several publishers, but without a rough draft, it’s pointless. Well, enough of my maniacal ranting. I think I've shit out enough to let my brain quiet itself enough to let me sleep. God I hope so. The dishonorable and obscene, Jason T. Sanderson
Well, enough of my maniacal ranting. I think I've shit out enough to let my brain quiet itself enough to let me sleep. God I hope so.
The dishonorable and obscene,
Jason T. Sanderson
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