(no subject)
i want to dance in your, no no. i just dont have a person to talk about my upsetting feelings with. i am not complaining, only i think one girl could relate to me. the conflict between lovers and family members. she too far from me. come here! anyways.
i am fine. my hair smells like cloves, its so strong,its getting to me. i stand up and i smell. i keep waving my hands around my hair. i just want to go sit ouside with a blanket and have a cigarett. i dont know its silly, i cant stop looking at them, im talking about, ah ha. i am kidding.i just rolled my eyes at myself, my body is funn of strech marks and still i am vain. i rolled my eyes becuase i am embarressed, i dont care. im just being honest.to be appealing, i was joking.
i felt like crying out of frustration earlier, i was trying to actually, i thought it would make her stop talking, or feel sorry for me or somthing.i never wat sympathy, but, i guess it was becuase there was nothing i was sad about except for listening to her talk.
id rather take things lightly insted of getting upset and making a big deal of things. s it horrible becuase its not typical? the way he is. i dont know, i think i love it.
they say,"explain to me why alexa!?"
"no!" or they think it anyway. thye dont understand.
its that back in forth way of thinking,do they just make me feel so different from them that i think i am. or am i just really? or are we the same. i think about it alot. ive lived with them for my entire life.
they say,"oh adri is goingto grow up to be a football player, baseball, soccor, track guy" and whatever else there is.i wouldnt mind it. but, hmm. today i was reading to him, the little prince, charlie gave it to me for adri at my baby shower. i thought, 'this is what adri is going to grow up with'
creative stories and art. if he loves sports, i'll take an interest in them.
i am his mother and andrew is his father, i hope we will be the biggest influences on him.
i love my family, they just confuse me on the way i am somtimes and the people i love. and i have to rethink everything, but i always remember who i am and what i love, and the sorts of things that dont matter to me, when people say they should. they just dont understand, and i dont tell them to help them try to. i dont think this makes anysence. sorting out my thoughts.-sorted!
mm, i feel better. everything is the way it should be. i like it this way. well, mostly.good night, i love you, lets go to sleep.
satisfying, and sitting outside i feel would get the smell out. not logical, i dont know. im the only one who liekd it anyways. i hope other people will, but oh well. i dont remember today.