The return of the crazy.
As any of the 5 people that read this know,
lemongrove and I have set up a joint blog on blogspot to keep in touch with our family. I've been more busy with that than my livejournal, but I needed a place to write to my kiddies and to fill them in on the uncensored version of what goes on in Rome. Allora...
So things have been shakin' up quite a bit. Was I ever expecting to see Francesco again? Nope. Thought that sucker was going back to Lecce for good. Bit there he was, sitting right next to me in a bar in Trastevere. Yet another epic meeting, just like the first, where all of hte events of the night led up to that one moment.
Did I say hi? No. Didn't even look at him. Actually, I freaked out in my little heart and I went out to share a cigarette with my new Irish friend Colum, made him fall in love with me and kissed him the whole rest of the night. What behavior!
Fact is, Francesco is still here in Rome and it has been messing with me for the past couple of days, and even though I know he is too old for me and too self-righteous and takes too many drugs, seeing him stirred up all my ridiculous notions from last semester. No guy has ever been able to effect me at all, so it's understandable that I'd be freaked out. But I saw him, saw him sitting with a group of Italian girls and all I could think about was his hands on my waist, his full beautiful lips on my neck and the view of the Ponte Sisto at 1 in the morning.
So I had a great night regardless. It was nice to kiss someone (that actually knew how) after having a completely barren summer. And maybe it's a good thing that Francesco is still here, because it could be my opportunity for real closure, which could be exactly what I need.
I'm allowed to be a little sad though because that small time we were together taught me a lot about myself. I'm not invincible. I can be effected by a man so much, just like any other warm-blooded woman. It's just a matter of maturity and choosing who you let effect you. I'm choosing to get over it (unless maybe he calls me and tells me I'm beautiful and that he wants to kiss me all over and have a thousand babies together).
No, really. Falling for a druggie is just a recipe for so much disaster.
It is funny though, right? I sure think so. I'm probably being all crazy and dramatic for a dating experience that lasted for a little more than a month. But I was completely head-over-heels (and still am) so I think I can be justified.
But my love life is in shams anyway, with 2 boys that like me so much that I have to interest in, Francesco is still in Rome, I might want to see the Irish boy again, random dates with Germans, and to add insult to injury, I still have the habit of falling in love with every beautiful man on the street that I see. And I'll just add a bit more complication if I do end up getting a job in one of the bars here, meeting people and being my flirtatious self.
What can I do?
One day at a time.
Loving you all.
lemongrove and I have set up a joint blog on blogspot to keep in touch with our family. I've been more busy with that than my livejournal, but I needed a place to write to my kiddies and to fill them in on the uncensored version of what goes on in Rome. Allora...
So things have been shakin' up quite a bit. Was I ever expecting to see Francesco again? Nope. Thought that sucker was going back to Lecce for good. Bit there he was, sitting right next to me in a bar in Trastevere. Yet another epic meeting, just like the first, where all of hte events of the night led up to that one moment.
Did I say hi? No. Didn't even look at him. Actually, I freaked out in my little heart and I went out to share a cigarette with my new Irish friend Colum, made him fall in love with me and kissed him the whole rest of the night. What behavior!
Fact is, Francesco is still here in Rome and it has been messing with me for the past couple of days, and even though I know he is too old for me and too self-righteous and takes too many drugs, seeing him stirred up all my ridiculous notions from last semester. No guy has ever been able to effect me at all, so it's understandable that I'd be freaked out. But I saw him, saw him sitting with a group of Italian girls and all I could think about was his hands on my waist, his full beautiful lips on my neck and the view of the Ponte Sisto at 1 in the morning.
So I had a great night regardless. It was nice to kiss someone (that actually knew how) after having a completely barren summer. And maybe it's a good thing that Francesco is still here, because it could be my opportunity for real closure, which could be exactly what I need.
I'm allowed to be a little sad though because that small time we were together taught me a lot about myself. I'm not invincible. I can be effected by a man so much, just like any other warm-blooded woman. It's just a matter of maturity and choosing who you let effect you. I'm choosing to get over it (unless maybe he calls me and tells me I'm beautiful and that he wants to kiss me all over and have a thousand babies together).
No, really. Falling for a druggie is just a recipe for so much disaster.
It is funny though, right? I sure think so. I'm probably being all crazy and dramatic for a dating experience that lasted for a little more than a month. But I was completely head-over-heels (and still am) so I think I can be justified.
But my love life is in shams anyway, with 2 boys that like me so much that I have to interest in, Francesco is still in Rome, I might want to see the Irish boy again, random dates with Germans, and to add insult to injury, I still have the habit of falling in love with every beautiful man on the street that I see. And I'll just add a bit more complication if I do end up getting a job in one of the bars here, meeting people and being my flirtatious self.
What can I do?
One day at a time.
Loving you all.