(no subject)
For 8 weeks now, I have been at school again. And when I say school I mean hell/ prison/ high school. I'm there to study translating/ interpreting and I hate it. I hate it so much that my stomach clenches and my nails dug into my palms when I even think of it. The bright side? I started writing again. 5 years of university and I didn't write a single line. 3 weeks of school and I have a "project". I can't believe they already bored me into writing.
I always want to believe so much that you grow with what you experience, that you'll learn to deal things better, but believe me, this is not true. It may seem like it but that's an illusion. As soon as whatever made you deal better leaves, it's back to what it used to be. Maybe you split up with the boy that calmed you, maybe you went back to your old job or return to your hometown - it'll be as if no time had passed. It's so frustrating I could scream.
But at least the girls are adorable. I had thought it would be the other way round but it's nice like this. Sometimes they treat me like their mum or the alpha wolf for whatever reason but it's fun. In fact, they are the reason I still show up there every morning and in a way it's heartbreaking how we promise each other to be there the next morning, just to give us a reason to come.
Still, it's going to last 3 years, 3 endless years. I don't know.
pic=Gina Gorny