you bet your life it is
So lots to update on, as always. I had a great time in Miami. No matter how flashy and trashy and strange South Beach is, I do like it. You can wake up and see the sun and the sand and take a walk on the beach and not worry about the things that always worry you. Of course, I had an interesting sensation when I first hit the sand. It's hard to be in the same place you were last year, and yet not be. Not be that person. I'm still closer to that person than I'd like to be sometimes but then I am growing, or learning from my mistakes. Sometimes it may seem that this journal is a vanity thing. A way to get the attention I feel I need to get, but more than that, it's a reflection for me. It's a way to keep tabs on myself. It takes the analytical edge off of my person, so that you don't all suffer as a result. At least that's what I'm hoping.
I'm in detox mode for the week. Reminding my body that it runs on other things besides decadent food and alcohol. My grocery cart on Sunday was a model of the mediterranean diet. Ask me how many times I've actually cooked dinner for myself this week though. Everybody does catching up in the form of dinners, but I guess that makes sense now that boston is freezing and you can't walk on a sidewalk without slipping all over the place.
I'd missed my friends. Seeing my family was great, bouncing back to Pittsford was great, and of course, Miami was great, but God I am so settled into my Boston life that this is my home. And I miss it when I'm away from it. I know that probably seems because I'm a rather "scheduled" person (I'm being nice to myself), but really I just like my city. I like my roommates, I like my room and my stuff and my car and being able to drive, I like being reliant upon myself and running to my friends or the gym if I can't figure things out. I like that even though I wake up in the morning and I'm pretty sure I know how the day is going to go, it's never exactly the same. I can rotate key players in and out and know that I always have someone to turn to when I lose my mind (temporarily).
It's hard for me to be single because I am a flirt by nature. I don't know if I just read so many of those trashy high school books growing up that I know the ins and outs of flirting but I feel like I just get it. My tipping point is too much alcohol and not enough attention. God forbid I'm not the center of attention.
That's why it's going to be a good thing when someone realizes that I'm holding them to a certain standard and they're ready to step up and meet me there.
I was good in Miami. I held my level of flirting to a minimum and I never even kissed a single soul. But somehow my brattiness felt the need to compensate for my lack of flirting. God, I am such a brat sometimes. A self-centered, pouty little brat. We might have to work on that.
Fortunately, I have my undoubtedly sweetest friend coming to visit next weekend. Mary called today during lunch and we finally scheduled a time for her to make it to Boston. Mary Beth (knock wood) is the only close friend in my entire career as a person that I've never fought with. Except for maybe my grandparents but I feel like they can't fight with me because they love me unconditionally. Mare and I have been friends since 1st grade. And extremely close friends given that we've never really been in the same group or anything. You know what though, I just remembered one fight so strike that from the record. She zipped my chin up in my jacket (my bright purple jacket). She used to mother me when we were little kids. And she was my big sister while we were teenagers. Now, I've finally caught up and we're more equals than anything else. I love her dearly and can't imagine a time in my life when she won't be there for me, or vice versa. I'm very much due for a Mary Beth visit.
In other news, I have a date on Thursday. You know how I have this weird way of meeting people? Well I met Jim on New Year's Eve night, when we both arrived at the T stop just in time to miss the T. He was with his twin brother (what is with me and guys with twins? This is my 4th set) and a group of friends. The five of us started talking and then the next T came and I sat with them and we hit it off and I have this great way of giving you my phone number without you needing to ask for it. I just said if his party was more fun, I should definitely give him a call. He called while I was in Miami and we talked tonight and made a date for Thursday.
Now I've got no expectations for this since remember, it's me. He sounds like a very nice guy and I was sober enough to remember what he looks like (brown hair, brown eyes, cute, tall, etc.) so I'm hoping that it goes well. And if it doesn't, well it's a story for all of us to enjoy.
He's a year younger.
Since the end of school, I've dated my own age, a year older, 3 years younger, 2 years older, and 4 years older. None of them have worked out, so let's try a year younger for $1000 please.
Mike's already calling him Jimbo. Why do the guys in my life always give nicknames to the other guys in my life? You do realize that all of you give names and receive names in return so that I can't keep track of a single one of you.
Cross your fingers, kids. I haven't been on a first date since the end of July.
I'm in detox mode for the week. Reminding my body that it runs on other things besides decadent food and alcohol. My grocery cart on Sunday was a model of the mediterranean diet. Ask me how many times I've actually cooked dinner for myself this week though. Everybody does catching up in the form of dinners, but I guess that makes sense now that boston is freezing and you can't walk on a sidewalk without slipping all over the place.
I'd missed my friends. Seeing my family was great, bouncing back to Pittsford was great, and of course, Miami was great, but God I am so settled into my Boston life that this is my home. And I miss it when I'm away from it. I know that probably seems because I'm a rather "scheduled" person (I'm being nice to myself), but really I just like my city. I like my roommates, I like my room and my stuff and my car and being able to drive, I like being reliant upon myself and running to my friends or the gym if I can't figure things out. I like that even though I wake up in the morning and I'm pretty sure I know how the day is going to go, it's never exactly the same. I can rotate key players in and out and know that I always have someone to turn to when I lose my mind (temporarily).
It's hard for me to be single because I am a flirt by nature. I don't know if I just read so many of those trashy high school books growing up that I know the ins and outs of flirting but I feel like I just get it. My tipping point is too much alcohol and not enough attention. God forbid I'm not the center of attention.
That's why it's going to be a good thing when someone realizes that I'm holding them to a certain standard and they're ready to step up and meet me there.
I was good in Miami. I held my level of flirting to a minimum and I never even kissed a single soul. But somehow my brattiness felt the need to compensate for my lack of flirting. God, I am such a brat sometimes. A self-centered, pouty little brat. We might have to work on that.
Fortunately, I have my undoubtedly sweetest friend coming to visit next weekend. Mary called today during lunch and we finally scheduled a time for her to make it to Boston. Mary Beth (knock wood) is the only close friend in my entire career as a person that I've never fought with. Except for maybe my grandparents but I feel like they can't fight with me because they love me unconditionally. Mare and I have been friends since 1st grade. And extremely close friends given that we've never really been in the same group or anything. You know what though, I just remembered one fight so strike that from the record. She zipped my chin up in my jacket (my bright purple jacket). She used to mother me when we were little kids. And she was my big sister while we were teenagers. Now, I've finally caught up and we're more equals than anything else. I love her dearly and can't imagine a time in my life when she won't be there for me, or vice versa. I'm very much due for a Mary Beth visit.
In other news, I have a date on Thursday. You know how I have this weird way of meeting people? Well I met Jim on New Year's Eve night, when we both arrived at the T stop just in time to miss the T. He was with his twin brother (what is with me and guys with twins? This is my 4th set) and a group of friends. The five of us started talking and then the next T came and I sat with them and we hit it off and I have this great way of giving you my phone number without you needing to ask for it. I just said if his party was more fun, I should definitely give him a call. He called while I was in Miami and we talked tonight and made a date for Thursday.
Now I've got no expectations for this since remember, it's me. He sounds like a very nice guy and I was sober enough to remember what he looks like (brown hair, brown eyes, cute, tall, etc.) so I'm hoping that it goes well. And if it doesn't, well it's a story for all of us to enjoy.
He's a year younger.
Since the end of school, I've dated my own age, a year older, 3 years younger, 2 years older, and 4 years older. None of them have worked out, so let's try a year younger for $1000 please.
Mike's already calling him Jimbo. Why do the guys in my life always give nicknames to the other guys in my life? You do realize that all of you give names and receive names in return so that I can't keep track of a single one of you.
Cross your fingers, kids. I haven't been on a first date since the end of July.