Mar 13, 2005 15:51
I think i have been a lot happier since Thursday, this may be due to the reasom that i feel like I'm free of Joe. I'm over him, and have moved on.
Friday we had the non-uniform day in aid of Comic relief. My god, the things some girls have the guts to wear. The shortest fucking shirts i think i have ever seen in my life were worn on friday. Its cold for christ sake, get some jeans on or something! I reckon really they just all wanna grow up to be fucking hookers, townie sluts. Friday night i stayed at my Dad's house. He was such a wanker at first i though i was going to kill my self. He can be such a stupid shit head when he wants to be. But this is a new start. I really don't wanna talk about being depressed all the time. I dont want to be depressed all the time. I want to enjoy life, embrace it. There is a lot of shit out there, but i think i've got to learn to ignore it, and not get upset over the most stupid fucking things.
This all came to me in the bathroom on friday, I had an arguement with my father, which made me very upset because of some of the things he said. I was crying and lying on the floor. Normally when this happens ill reach for something to hurt myself with (especially recently) Im in the bloody bathroom, got a pair of scissors but they're blunt. SO blunt i can't do anything with them at all, but im still trying, and i just think. Why am i doing this? It sooo stupid. Why am i doing it?? So i really am doing to try my hardest, to not hurt myself in anyway. To be a more positive upbeat person. And if i have a problem to talk about it, instead of keeping it all locked up inside.
Following this little epiphany, you could call it, i decided to come on the internet and talk to my friends. Imagion my suprise when a boy actually admots to me that he kinda likes me. Operative word here is kinda, he said he wasn't sure, but still thats good enough for me. Though it gets better Lat night (saturday) he told me he actually def. does, and i told him i liked him too. We may go on a date next weekend-im kinda nervous.
Back to friday though-talked to Faulkner (the boy) for ages and then was texting him later at night. While also being on the phone to Priya for 4 hours until 3 in the morning.
Saturday-Went to the cinema with Lore, Clo, Megan, Joe and Scott. Me and Megan meet earlier than the rest and bumped into Zack. Helped him find a new bag as we didn't have anything to do, gave him my atticus badge to not make it look so new and retarded, Lol. We was ment to meet the rest at 1.30, but they all ended up being late. Then to top it all off did not get to sit next to either Joe or Scott in the cinema. At this point i still did like Joe a little, but not that much. To tell you the truth the whole cinema trip and part afterwards was kinda boring. Neither of the boys were very sociable at all. I think the best part was buying Atticus dragging the lake 3.
Then at night i had the very very long conversation with faulkner, i think he may ask me out next week. Well i hope he does. I remember him saying last night 'I fancy you, you fancy me. Seems like we have a bit of a situation, no?' :) Part makes me happy, which is why i think i am a happier person today, happier than i have been in a long time.