DOLLOPHEAD IS THE NEW CLOTPOLE....MERLIN SPOILERS.....
OH EM GEE.
I can't even. Am telling you now, MASSIVE spoilers for the first two episodes of the new Merlin series, so please PLEASE do not click on the cut if you do not want spoiled!
Okay, SO.
Morgana = EVIL. CHECK. CHECK. AND CHECK. She knifed a knight in cold blood, chucked him off the turrets of fair Camelot, and then when she discovered he was still alive, offed him with poison so he wouldn't blab it was Morgana who shivvied him!
BITCH is done gone DARKSIDE - and Katie was utterly UTTERLY marvellous! We lost count of all the evil smirks. EPIC EPIC Merlin & Morgana too!
ANYWAYS.
Morgana has been missing for a year, stumbles out of the woods and is found by Arthur, Merlin, & the Knights. Morgana and Morgause are plotting Camelot's downfall with the help of King Cenred's army (King Cendred was quite fit by the way - in bondage leather gear like - Dear God, can this show get anymore CAMP? The answer by the way to that is YES IT CAN, but more on that later).
So, Morgana and Morgause are like TEH WITCHES of MACBETH TOILING IT AND TROUBLING it over their cauldron as they make an enchantment to send Uther into the realms of madness. Camelot crumbles and Cenred's army move in! But before that, Merlin & Morgana are all RAWR - YOU TRIED TO POISON ME YOU WHORE! And WELL YOU'RE AN EVIL WITCH YOU ER WITCH! I'M GONNA TELL UTHER ON YOU! MWAHAHAHAHA! NO WAY UTHER WILL BELIEVE YOU, YOU PEASANT! Well, the confrontation didn't really go like that, but you get the gist of it!
Merlin decides to follow Morgana into the night as she floats about the woods (in a very swishy purple cloak mind you) to go off plotting with her sister dearest, obviously is caught, and Morgause and Morgana bind him in chains to be MUNCHED on by some seriously DODGY CGI scorpions! OH DEAR. Merlin is in MORTAL PERIL!
BUT before all of the above occurs, let me express my absolute LOVE AND ADORATION of Merlin/ Arthur. OH GOD. The chemistry! THE BICKERING! THE SNARK! The utter CAMPY GLORIOUS-NESS of their onscreen fighting is utterly NONSENSICAL AND BRILLIANT. Merlin sasses Arthur, Arthur sasses Merlin! Merlin calls Arthur a DOLLOPHEAD - it's the new CLOT POLE folks, calls him stupid in too smart a way for Arthur to know what he's babbling about, Arthur tips a bucket of water over Merlin's head, Merlin makes Arthur get cuckolded during training, OH LORDY....I can't even you guys. Lots of bickering with Arthur half-nekkid too (YAY Bradley gets his kit off WOOO), and Arthur throwing stuff at Merlin's head, and OH GOD - CAMP CAMP HOMOYAY of EPIC proportions! To say nothing of when they actually play a scene straight - there is this absolutely WONDERFUL scene between them when Merlin goes on about having absolute faith in Arthur, and how he's going to be a great King, and is being all MERLIN WISE, and Arthur is all MISTY EYED AND CONFUSED at Merlin even though he thinks he's a big girls petticoat, but bows down to his wisdom and OH MAN. BEST ONSCREEN DUO on a family show EVA! They steal the show every time!
Right, so where was I? Yes, Merlin is in MORTAL PERIL and is unable to break Morgause's chains, and the scorpians of DODGY CGI repute are closing in! One of them gets his stinger out and wallops Merlin! The crowd goes GASP (I kid you not, it was like being at a pantomime)! Never fear though, Merlin is a DRAGON LORD Y'ALL and calls for reinforcements in the form of some incoherant olde English (although apparently it's German)!
And WHEEEEEE! The Slash Dragon is SEXY BACK my lovelies! Because he cannot disobey Merlin, because he is a DRAGON LORD! HELLS YEAH! We'll just forget that the dragon went MENTAL at the end of the last series and killed a whole buncha people - the producers sure forgot, so UM. Sweeping it under the carpet! *FACE PALMS*....this show. It FAILS hilariously on so many levels, but it is just so CHARMING that you forgive it! So, just in time to save Merlin from the baddies our saviour arrives! UP UP UP AND AWAY YOU LIFT ME UP WHERE YOU BELONG and it's the Dragon flying off with Merlin in his clutches to save him! An enchantment to heal him and a lecture about how how Morgana is the light to Merlin's dark, the hatred to his love, BLAH-DI-BLAH DESTINY CAKES later (he is now THE SHIP DRAGON), and Merlin rides the dragon back to Camelot! And oh Lordy, hang onto your panties, because this scene had to be the most RIDICULOUS and HAPPY MAKING AND CHEESY scene in the whole of the show. It was all Harry Potter like, with Merling giving it WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AM RIDING THE DRAGON BIATCHES (later it is discovered in the Merlin panel that he was actually riding a mechanical bull of some sort when they filmed it. YEE HAW Colin)! Cue me HOWLING about my chair with laughter at the EPIC CHEESINESS of it all!
Okay, so the gist of it all is this: Camelot is about to be under attack with Arthur & the Knights getting ready to do their THANG with their swords defending the castle, Merlin discovers and breaks the enchantment over Uther, and then there is that lovely aforementioned scene between Arthur and Merlin. *QUIVERS*....Am telling you - they do comedy great, but when it's a straight scene they've both got some acting chops (particularly Colin - he's in a class of his own folks) to pull of a really special moment. Cue an absolute SNORE-FEST of an Arthur/Gwen scene (brutally honest - her character in the first two episodes is utterly and absolutely POINTLESS - she has no purpose, does nothing, other than to moon over Arthur - Dear God, I wish they would bring back the Gwen of series 1 with a passion), and then it's BATTLE CRY AHOY! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM! Or something like that.
The battle rages! And off Merlin goes to stop Morgana who has raised a skeleton army with the help of Morgause! What follows is a gorgeous scene between Merlin & Morgana as he tries to convince her to do good with her magic, and she tells him he wouldn't understand because he's not magic (FAIL), and Merlin all WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE DYING MORAGANA PLEASE, and she's all BACK OFF MERLIN! I DON'T CARE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! EN GUARDE YOU BIG GIRLS BLOUSE! EPIC sword fight between Merlin & Morgana! I'm about crying with laughter by this point, but seriously cheering Merlin on, because okay YEAH. He tried to poison her, but DANG am still reeling from her offing that poor knight! COLD. She is MAGNIFICENT! And so is Merlin! She kicks his arse of course, but Merlin brings her down using magic on the sly and BOBS YER UNCLE. Camelot is saved, everyone thinks Morgana is a hero, and there follows a lot of serious EYE F*****G between Merlin & Morgana!
We finish up of course with a Merlin & Gaius tete a tete at the table. Merlin feels sorry that Morgana has become a twisted, bitter hag, and swears no one could ever make him like that....until Arthur starts bawling for Merlin and Merlin is all, well......YEAH.
Oh you guys. The episodes are pretty epic. EPIC everything. EPIC CAMP! EPIC RIDICULOUSNESS! EPIC DODGY CGI! EPIC DODGY ACTING in parts! EPIC really good acting in parts (Colin's got some proper acting chops on him, by God), EPIC HOMOYAY, EPIC NONSENSE, EPIC EVIL SMIRKS! EPIC Merlin & Arthur bickering! EPIC Merlin & Arthur EMO scene, EPIC hypocrisy, EPIC silliness, and I LOVED every moment of it. There is something for everyone: the A/G shippers, the M/A shippers, the M/M shippers, & the Morgana/A shippers (really lovely Morgana & Arthur scene).
And EPIC series 3 trailer! The BIGGIE: EXCALIBUR is coming out of the lake my darlings with The Lady of The Lake! BOOOOYAH. Cannot wait.
In conclusion:
becroberts and I had a MARVELLOUS day out. We had brunch along the Southbank, wine at the BFI bar, and then the Merlin premiere. We got lucky too as we were sat in the very back rown, but we had the last laugh as the entire cast and producers were sat right next to us! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Colin & Bradley looked wonderful (Colin is absolutely STUNNING up close - I mean real live pretty PRETTY) as did Katie and Angel, and the panel afterwards was full of funny shenanigans, innuendo, and ridiculous questions, but there you go. Par for the course when there are fangirls involved!
Thank you becroberts for a SPLENDID day!
Over 'n out sailors!
xxx
I can't even. Am telling you now, MASSIVE spoilers for the first two episodes of the new Merlin series, so please PLEASE do not click on the cut if you do not want spoiled!
Okay, SO.
Morgana = EVIL. CHECK. CHECK. AND CHECK. She knifed a knight in cold blood, chucked him off the turrets of fair Camelot, and then when she discovered he was still alive, offed him with poison so he wouldn't blab it was Morgana who shivvied him!
BITCH is done gone DARKSIDE - and Katie was utterly UTTERLY marvellous! We lost count of all the evil smirks. EPIC EPIC Merlin & Morgana too!
ANYWAYS.
Morgana has been missing for a year, stumbles out of the woods and is found by Arthur, Merlin, & the Knights. Morgana and Morgause are plotting Camelot's downfall with the help of King Cenred's army (King Cendred was quite fit by the way - in bondage leather gear like - Dear God, can this show get anymore CAMP? The answer by the way to that is YES IT CAN, but more on that later).
So, Morgana and Morgause are like TEH WITCHES of MACBETH TOILING IT AND TROUBLING it over their cauldron as they make an enchantment to send Uther into the realms of madness. Camelot crumbles and Cenred's army move in! But before that, Merlin & Morgana are all RAWR - YOU TRIED TO POISON ME YOU WHORE! And WELL YOU'RE AN EVIL WITCH YOU ER WITCH! I'M GONNA TELL UTHER ON YOU! MWAHAHAHAHA! NO WAY UTHER WILL BELIEVE YOU, YOU PEASANT! Well, the confrontation didn't really go like that, but you get the gist of it!
Merlin decides to follow Morgana into the night as she floats about the woods (in a very swishy purple cloak mind you) to go off plotting with her sister dearest, obviously is caught, and Morgause and Morgana bind him in chains to be MUNCHED on by some seriously DODGY CGI scorpions! OH DEAR. Merlin is in MORTAL PERIL!
BUT before all of the above occurs, let me express my absolute LOVE AND ADORATION of Merlin/ Arthur. OH GOD. The chemistry! THE BICKERING! THE SNARK! The utter CAMPY GLORIOUS-NESS of their onscreen fighting is utterly NONSENSICAL AND BRILLIANT. Merlin sasses Arthur, Arthur sasses Merlin! Merlin calls Arthur a DOLLOPHEAD - it's the new CLOT POLE folks, calls him stupid in too smart a way for Arthur to know what he's babbling about, Arthur tips a bucket of water over Merlin's head, Merlin makes Arthur get cuckolded during training, OH LORDY....I can't even you guys. Lots of bickering with Arthur half-nekkid too (YAY Bradley gets his kit off WOOO), and Arthur throwing stuff at Merlin's head, and OH GOD - CAMP CAMP HOMOYAY of EPIC proportions! To say nothing of when they actually play a scene straight - there is this absolutely WONDERFUL scene between them when Merlin goes on about having absolute faith in Arthur, and how he's going to be a great King, and is being all MERLIN WISE, and Arthur is all MISTY EYED AND CONFUSED at Merlin even though he thinks he's a big girls petticoat, but bows down to his wisdom and OH MAN. BEST ONSCREEN DUO on a family show EVA! They steal the show every time!
Right, so where was I? Yes, Merlin is in MORTAL PERIL and is unable to break Morgause's chains, and the scorpians of DODGY CGI repute are closing in! One of them gets his stinger out and wallops Merlin! The crowd goes GASP (I kid you not, it was like being at a pantomime)! Never fear though, Merlin is a DRAGON LORD Y'ALL and calls for reinforcements in the form of some incoherant olde English (although apparently it's German)!
And WHEEEEEE! The Slash Dragon is SEXY BACK my lovelies! Because he cannot disobey Merlin, because he is a DRAGON LORD! HELLS YEAH! We'll just forget that the dragon went MENTAL at the end of the last series and killed a whole buncha people - the producers sure forgot, so UM. Sweeping it under the carpet! *FACE PALMS*....this show. It FAILS hilariously on so many levels, but it is just so CHARMING that you forgive it! So, just in time to save Merlin from the baddies our saviour arrives! UP UP UP AND AWAY YOU LIFT ME UP WHERE YOU BELONG and it's the Dragon flying off with Merlin in his clutches to save him! An enchantment to heal him and a lecture about how how Morgana is the light to Merlin's dark, the hatred to his love, BLAH-DI-BLAH DESTINY CAKES later (he is now THE SHIP DRAGON), and Merlin rides the dragon back to Camelot! And oh Lordy, hang onto your panties, because this scene had to be the most RIDICULOUS and HAPPY MAKING AND CHEESY scene in the whole of the show. It was all Harry Potter like, with Merling giving it WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AM RIDING THE DRAGON BIATCHES (later it is discovered in the Merlin panel that he was actually riding a mechanical bull of some sort when they filmed it. YEE HAW Colin)! Cue me HOWLING about my chair with laughter at the EPIC CHEESINESS of it all!
Okay, so the gist of it all is this: Camelot is about to be under attack with Arthur & the Knights getting ready to do their THANG with their swords defending the castle, Merlin discovers and breaks the enchantment over Uther, and then there is that lovely aforementioned scene between Arthur and Merlin. *QUIVERS*....Am telling you - they do comedy great, but when it's a straight scene they've both got some acting chops (particularly Colin - he's in a class of his own folks) to pull of a really special moment. Cue an absolute SNORE-FEST of an Arthur/Gwen scene (brutally honest - her character in the first two episodes is utterly and absolutely POINTLESS - she has no purpose, does nothing, other than to moon over Arthur - Dear God, I wish they would bring back the Gwen of series 1 with a passion), and then it's BATTLE CRY AHOY! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM! Or something like that.
The battle rages! And off Merlin goes to stop Morgana who has raised a skeleton army with the help of Morgause! What follows is a gorgeous scene between Merlin & Morgana as he tries to convince her to do good with her magic, and she tells him he wouldn't understand because he's not magic (FAIL), and Merlin all WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE DYING MORAGANA PLEASE, and she's all BACK OFF MERLIN! I DON'T CARE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! EN GUARDE YOU BIG GIRLS BLOUSE! EPIC sword fight between Merlin & Morgana! I'm about crying with laughter by this point, but seriously cheering Merlin on, because okay YEAH. He tried to poison her, but DANG am still reeling from her offing that poor knight! COLD. She is MAGNIFICENT! And so is Merlin! She kicks his arse of course, but Merlin brings her down using magic on the sly and BOBS YER UNCLE. Camelot is saved, everyone thinks Morgana is a hero, and there follows a lot of serious EYE F*****G between Merlin & Morgana!
We finish up of course with a Merlin & Gaius tete a tete at the table. Merlin feels sorry that Morgana has become a twisted, bitter hag, and swears no one could ever make him like that....until Arthur starts bawling for Merlin and Merlin is all, well......YEAH.
Oh you guys. The episodes are pretty epic. EPIC everything. EPIC CAMP! EPIC RIDICULOUSNESS! EPIC DODGY CGI! EPIC DODGY ACTING in parts! EPIC really good acting in parts (Colin's got some proper acting chops on him, by God), EPIC HOMOYAY, EPIC NONSENSE, EPIC EVIL SMIRKS! EPIC Merlin & Arthur bickering! EPIC Merlin & Arthur EMO scene, EPIC hypocrisy, EPIC silliness, and I LOVED every moment of it. There is something for everyone: the A/G shippers, the M/A shippers, the M/M shippers, & the Morgana/A shippers (really lovely Morgana & Arthur scene).
And EPIC series 3 trailer! The BIGGIE: EXCALIBUR is coming out of the lake my darlings with The Lady of The Lake! BOOOOYAH. Cannot wait.
In conclusion:
becroberts and I had a MARVELLOUS day out. We had brunch along the Southbank, wine at the BFI bar, and then the Merlin premiere. We got lucky too as we were sat in the very back rown, but we had the last laugh as the entire cast and producers were sat right next to us! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Colin & Bradley looked wonderful (Colin is absolutely STUNNING up close - I mean real live pretty PRETTY) as did Katie and Angel, and the panel afterwards was full of funny shenanigans, innuendo, and ridiculous questions, but there you go. Par for the course when there are fangirls involved!
Thank you becroberts for a SPLENDID day!
Over 'n out sailors!
xxx