Delusions of Grandeur
Hey, has anyone missed me since my last journal?
There, there, don’t everyone rush to the front of the room to say “no”.
*looks out over the darkened rows of chairs* Okay you in the back, I can see you. You can hear me. I don’t want to hear anything about ‘only being in the room because it’s raining outside and you just ducked in to stay dry’. You’re here and you’re going to listen.
First of all, how’s all that Hope and Change that Obama promised working out for you folks? The wars are over, the troops are all home, everyone overseas has begun to love Americans, the economy is booming, everyone has a job, and Hollywood is cranking out one box office smash after another, right?
No?
Well how’s about that National Health Care bill? Pretty nifty, huh? Everyone getting heath care whether he or she can pay for it or not. Reminds me of when I was a kid and thought that everything was free - or at least something that your parents could provide for you if asked/demanded/whined enough. I don’t see any problem with that method.
Oh yeah, there’s going to be the naysayers. “If the Government can’t run the Social Security program that covers just the retirees and the elderly without it running out of money and going into the toilet then how can it hope to manage a program that is supposed to cover everybody in the country without it placing us into the same toilet?!!” Whine whine whine.
The answer is so simple I am surprised that it isn’t as plain as the Bush-like noses on the naysayers' faces. You stop fighting wars in places that the average American can’t even find of the map (much less be interested enough to look for) and college-educated Americans have no interest in. Dismantle the military, or at least cut it down to a manageable size. After all, why do we need a super-sized Army, Navy, Marines AND Air Force when we have the National Guard, the Coast Guard and Civil Air Patrol and the Boy Scouts to protect our borders?
With all those soldiers, sailors, marines, and air personal freed up there would be plenty of free hands and lots of money to go around for all those nifty building programs that will be sprouting up once the stimulus funds finally get into the state governments’ hands. I can already hear the sound of hammers, saws and joyfully singing children.
Then with our troops out of everyone else’s country it can only result in spontaneous “I Love America” demonstrations occuring all around the world. Americans will once again be loved everywhere - except of course in Canada, eh? ;-)
There are inventive minds out there working right now to re-right the ship of state, folks.
I particularly like the idea of dealing with the illegal immigrant "problem", or if you prefer, the “undocumented worker” issue. Now according to those who supposedly know, folks from around the world are sneaking into the United States for some reason. A “better life” say some deluded Americans. If there were any better lives to live in this country then don't you think Americans would be the first to know about them? However if one just watches the local and US national televised news one has to wonder just exactly where that “better life” in America is.
The location aside, if folks outside the United States are still being fooled by the propaganda put out by the government-run Hollywood studios (which they all are), they are facing life-threatening dangers to come to this country. They have to elude supposedly repressive state security forces in their own country (who we know merely exist to prevent Americans from sneaking in). Some actually risk their lives crossing shark-infested oceans or entomb themselves in airless sealed vehicles in order to cross incinerating deserts. Thousands of lives are being lost every year all for the chance at having a so-called “better life”.
Have any of those mis-guided souls asked a college student about America?
The solution, as it was advanced, is that these unhappy people should stay at home. No more illegal immigrants entering the United States. That alone should keep the patriotic flag wavers happy. BUT, and here is the really neat thing, people overseas who want to enjoy the benefits of American society (free health care, unemployment benefits, welfare benefits, subsidized college education’s, free houses and free automobiles, etc.) could become American CITIZENS without even coming to the United States!
That's right. All these folks would have to do would be to trot right down to their local American Embassy, fill out the IWTBAAC (I Want To Be An American Citizen) form (an “X” will suffice for those who are not literate), have it stamped, and they will be handed their American Citizen card and voila! Yankee Doodle Dandy, they are American Citizens!
Of course they would not be required, or even asked, to give up their own country’s citizenship. There are such things as a “duel citizenships”. So they could be sitting outside their huts, collecting their unemployment checks, welfare checks, and for the more elderly among them, their Social Security checks and not have to lift a finger.
Think about how nice the foreign policy of the United States would be when it’s president was elected by “Americans” from all around the world! No more military “police actions”. Why would the United States want to intervene in a country filled with “Americans”? No slip-shod foreign aid going inot the slimy hands of corrupt foreign governments. If everyone in an overseas country was receiving a U.S. government welfare check, THAT would be effective foreign aid. Every “American” farmer in every God Forsaken Third World Hellhole would be able to afford his or her own water buffalo or cute-looking sheep!
Kumbeyah my Lord, Kumbeyah!
For those of you who are heartened by this suggestion, I will be beginning my campaign for election to the seat of Emperor of the Earth in the very near future. :-)
FILE UNDER: Delusions of Grandeur
There, there, don’t everyone rush to the front of the room to say “no”.
*looks out over the darkened rows of chairs* Okay you in the back, I can see you. You can hear me. I don’t want to hear anything about ‘only being in the room because it’s raining outside and you just ducked in to stay dry’. You’re here and you’re going to listen.
First of all, how’s all that Hope and Change that Obama promised working out for you folks? The wars are over, the troops are all home, everyone overseas has begun to love Americans, the economy is booming, everyone has a job, and Hollywood is cranking out one box office smash after another, right?
No?
Well how’s about that National Health Care bill? Pretty nifty, huh? Everyone getting heath care whether he or she can pay for it or not. Reminds me of when I was a kid and thought that everything was free - or at least something that your parents could provide for you if asked/demanded/whined enough. I don’t see any problem with that method.
Oh yeah, there’s going to be the naysayers. “If the Government can’t run the Social Security program that covers just the retirees and the elderly without it running out of money and going into the toilet then how can it hope to manage a program that is supposed to cover everybody in the country without it placing us into the same toilet?!!” Whine whine whine.
The answer is so simple I am surprised that it isn’t as plain as the Bush-like noses on the naysayers' faces. You stop fighting wars in places that the average American can’t even find of the map (much less be interested enough to look for) and college-educated Americans have no interest in. Dismantle the military, or at least cut it down to a manageable size. After all, why do we need a super-sized Army, Navy, Marines AND Air Force when we have the National Guard, the Coast Guard and Civil Air Patrol and the Boy Scouts to protect our borders?
With all those soldiers, sailors, marines, and air personal freed up there would be plenty of free hands and lots of money to go around for all those nifty building programs that will be sprouting up once the stimulus funds finally get into the state governments’ hands. I can already hear the sound of hammers, saws and joyfully singing children.
Then with our troops out of everyone else’s country it can only result in spontaneous “I Love America” demonstrations occuring all around the world. Americans will once again be loved everywhere - except of course in Canada, eh? ;-)
There are inventive minds out there working right now to re-right the ship of state, folks.
I particularly like the idea of dealing with the illegal immigrant "problem", or if you prefer, the “undocumented worker” issue. Now according to those who supposedly know, folks from around the world are sneaking into the United States for some reason. A “better life” say some deluded Americans. If there were any better lives to live in this country then don't you think Americans would be the first to know about them? However if one just watches the local and US national televised news one has to wonder just exactly where that “better life” in America is.
The location aside, if folks outside the United States are still being fooled by the propaganda put out by the government-run Hollywood studios (which they all are), they are facing life-threatening dangers to come to this country. They have to elude supposedly repressive state security forces in their own country (who we know merely exist to prevent Americans from sneaking in). Some actually risk their lives crossing shark-infested oceans or entomb themselves in airless sealed vehicles in order to cross incinerating deserts. Thousands of lives are being lost every year all for the chance at having a so-called “better life”.
Have any of those mis-guided souls asked a college student about America?
The solution, as it was advanced, is that these unhappy people should stay at home. No more illegal immigrants entering the United States. That alone should keep the patriotic flag wavers happy. BUT, and here is the really neat thing, people overseas who want to enjoy the benefits of American society (free health care, unemployment benefits, welfare benefits, subsidized college education’s, free houses and free automobiles, etc.) could become American CITIZENS without even coming to the United States!
That's right. All these folks would have to do would be to trot right down to their local American Embassy, fill out the IWTBAAC (I Want To Be An American Citizen) form (an “X” will suffice for those who are not literate), have it stamped, and they will be handed their American Citizen card and voila! Yankee Doodle Dandy, they are American Citizens!
Of course they would not be required, or even asked, to give up their own country’s citizenship. There are such things as a “duel citizenships”. So they could be sitting outside their huts, collecting their unemployment checks, welfare checks, and for the more elderly among them, their Social Security checks and not have to lift a finger.
Think about how nice the foreign policy of the United States would be when it’s president was elected by “Americans” from all around the world! No more military “police actions”. Why would the United States want to intervene in a country filled with “Americans”? No slip-shod foreign aid going inot the slimy hands of corrupt foreign governments. If everyone in an overseas country was receiving a U.S. government welfare check, THAT would be effective foreign aid. Every “American” farmer in every God Forsaken Third World Hellhole would be able to afford his or her own water buffalo or cute-looking sheep!
Kumbeyah my Lord, Kumbeyah!
For those of you who are heartened by this suggestion, I will be beginning my campaign for election to the seat of Emperor of the Earth in the very near future. :-)
FILE UNDER: Delusions of Grandeur