(no subject)
What will our experiences do to us; how will they shape is in two years or ten years? How do we purge from ourselves those darker feelings, darker emotions that haunt our minds and bodies? What is their trigger for expulsion and how badly does that trigger hurt, initially, when it is pressed?
I do not know if there is a point to those questions above, but I just went through an interesting experience with my mother. We argued politics for a long time, back and forth liberal (though I'm much more moderate, but quite liberal in comparision to someone who is so fundamentally conservative) and conservative. We never released that tension that buildings in a political argument, but at the end she made a totally mundane comment about how she was out of minutes on her cell phone and how I don't pay for mine. And the tears began.
How could such an innocent thing trigger such a powerful emotional response that purged so many feelings of guilt and anxiety? It is funny how one tension led to the release of a completely different tension. I say funny, though that isn't the word, because of a sharp moment I was really hurt. And my mother, of course, felt really bad for hurting me because there was no intention on her part to do so. And I understand this, realize it completely and hold no bad feelings toward her. But I would have never thought, as calm and levelheaded as I am, that a single sentence-- with what seemed like no strong emotional response--could so reduce me to tears as hers did.
But the great thing about tears is the immense release that they bring with them. Someone told me recently that they did not like to cry, and I couldn't understand that concept. Even living in a society where it is still somewhat verboten for men to cry, I think it is a wonderful gift. There is nothing better than a good cry, well, I won't say that there is nothing better, but certainly it has its own unique benefits.
I feel better. I feel good.
I do not know if there is a point to those questions above, but I just went through an interesting experience with my mother. We argued politics for a long time, back and forth liberal (though I'm much more moderate, but quite liberal in comparision to someone who is so fundamentally conservative) and conservative. We never released that tension that buildings in a political argument, but at the end she made a totally mundane comment about how she was out of minutes on her cell phone and how I don't pay for mine. And the tears began.
How could such an innocent thing trigger such a powerful emotional response that purged so many feelings of guilt and anxiety? It is funny how one tension led to the release of a completely different tension. I say funny, though that isn't the word, because of a sharp moment I was really hurt. And my mother, of course, felt really bad for hurting me because there was no intention on her part to do so. And I understand this, realize it completely and hold no bad feelings toward her. But I would have never thought, as calm and levelheaded as I am, that a single sentence-- with what seemed like no strong emotional response--could so reduce me to tears as hers did.
But the great thing about tears is the immense release that they bring with them. Someone told me recently that they did not like to cry, and I couldn't understand that concept. Even living in a society where it is still somewhat verboten for men to cry, I think it is a wonderful gift. There is nothing better than a good cry, well, I won't say that there is nothing better, but certainly it has its own unique benefits.
I feel better. I feel good.