So Little Time
I recently told a new parent, "Welcome to the land of there never having enough of anything ever again." It was meant be encouraging, as in, we are all doing our best and come up short. But really when you are a parent there is never enough money, time, wisdom, energy.
And this is the part of this journal where I have to remember this is for me and not for someone who might happen upon it someday. I want to provide so much back story, maybe I'll get there some day. But today I just want my kid back. I want Josiah back. When I broke it felt like I lost him. I remember the moment when I knew it was happening and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Now he is with me half time. He feels like a stranger. I know there are a thousand reasons for this but when I feel it, it just feels like loss. I miss him. The house feels empty when he is at his dads.