Brain Droppings
-I used to be rather proud of my Italian-American heritage. However, these days, I ponder what has happened to "my people" over the centuries to make them degenerate into a bunch of orange, illiterate, ostentation-obsessed, knuckle-dragging troglodytes. Representing the poetry of Virgil or the orations of Cicero? Of course not. Apparently being Italo-American means that you represent fake tans, steroid-use, $150 t-shirts, and wearing your grandmother's earrings out to the clubs. Seriously. Kill yourselves.
-Dear _______, please do not flirt shamelessly with me whilst dropping a myriad of blatant sexual innuendos before coming directly to my house and seductively reclining across my bed in order to suddenly put on the brakes and refuse to even make out with me. If you want to take things slowly, act like it. Playing mind games will not make me respect you more. If anything, I will avoid any form of romance with you whatsoever, convinced that you are either a.) bi-polar and off meds, b.) have multiple personalities, or c.) speak to a magical platypus that dwells in your brain.
-I have a lot of trouble watching these ghost-hunting shows on television that everyone wants me to watch. It specifically kills me when they bring an "occult expert" on to the show, and I can tell almost immediately that said expert wouldn't know occultism if it came in their eye and slapped them twice.
-Dear _______, please do not flirt shamelessly with me whilst dropping a myriad of blatant sexual innuendos before coming directly to my house and seductively reclining across my bed in order to suddenly put on the brakes and refuse to even make out with me. If you want to take things slowly, act like it. Playing mind games will not make me respect you more. If anything, I will avoid any form of romance with you whatsoever, convinced that you are either a.) bi-polar and off meds, b.) have multiple personalities, or c.) speak to a magical platypus that dwells in your brain.
-I have a lot of trouble watching these ghost-hunting shows on television that everyone wants me to watch. It specifically kills me when they bring an "occult expert" on to the show, and I can tell almost immediately that said expert wouldn't know occultism if it came in their eye and slapped them twice.