(no subject)
The unofficial goal I set for myself during 2008 was to be open to possibility, and to move away from my fear of getting what I wanted. To not be afraid to ask, or try, because maybe the answer was what I wanted to hear. And so, I decided on a few things I wanted to do, I did them or asked for them, shoved my foot in my mouth a number of times, but overall came out better than my wildest dreams.
In 2009, I want to learn how to let go. I want to practice non-attachment. I want to realize that everything in the whole world, whether good or bad, eventually ends. Everything that begins will change over the course of its existence and then eventually stop existing. I want to really, really believe that people are complicated and interesting and their action and inaction is usually more of a reflection of THEM than it is of me. And if people are complicated and interesting, then the universe is infinitely MORE complicated and interesting and I am not capable of fully understanding either the universe OR the human capacity to be both wretched and remarkable. Good can't exist without bad, beginnings can't exist without endings, vice versa, and the world keeps right on turning. And therefore, the best plan I could possibly have is to cast out my will and then cut the line, because full understanding of all of the variables at play is not attainable. Happiness, says my mom's wallpaper in teh basement washroom, is not a station one arrives at, but a manner of traveling, and I am now almost 100% sure that I can't ever be really, really traveling in that manner until I learn to let it all go.
(In other news, I have a basic outline and budget for my Europen Tour, as its being called, and I already have 1/3 of the money for it.)
In 2009, I want to learn how to let go. I want to practice non-attachment. I want to realize that everything in the whole world, whether good or bad, eventually ends. Everything that begins will change over the course of its existence and then eventually stop existing. I want to really, really believe that people are complicated and interesting and their action and inaction is usually more of a reflection of THEM than it is of me. And if people are complicated and interesting, then the universe is infinitely MORE complicated and interesting and I am not capable of fully understanding either the universe OR the human capacity to be both wretched and remarkable. Good can't exist without bad, beginnings can't exist without endings, vice versa, and the world keeps right on turning. And therefore, the best plan I could possibly have is to cast out my will and then cut the line, because full understanding of all of the variables at play is not attainable. Happiness, says my mom's wallpaper in teh basement washroom, is not a station one arrives at, but a manner of traveling, and I am now almost 100% sure that I can't ever be really, really traveling in that manner until I learn to let it all go.
(In other news, I have a basic outline and budget for my Europen Tour, as its being called, and I already have 1/3 of the money for it.)