♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat meoshutupJanuary 25 2009, 04:19:22 UTC
Still glad to be one of the unaffected sorts, Peter had only been glancing at the network portable device when he noticed Lucy on it. In turn this obviously brought him to the request which he had no intention of refusing, and so he bypassed telling her of course when he could just say as much in person. Now outside her door, he knocked, still wearing his coat.
"Lu? Is your coat in the hall closet? If not, best grab that," he said, and it was unnecessary as Lucy knew well how to take care of herself, but it was a habit he found hard to break--looking out more than he might need to for her, anyway.
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat melionesscouchantJanuary 25 2009, 04:23:48 UTC
She opened her room door and shook her head. "My cloaks are all in my closet, let me get one."
As a general rule, Lucy preferred to wear cloaks - it was a habit that she had picked up in Narnia and never managed to lose. She had three from Christmas, and she chose the purple one, slipping it on and reaching for Peter's hand as she came out of the door. She was blond - a sunnier blond than Peter, because her mood was generally sunny.
She hoped it wouldn't change for the worse over this conversation.
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat meoshutupJanuary 25 2009, 04:37:28 UTC
As they stepped out, he took the her hand just as she reached for his. It was yet another habit when they were next to each other, and almost always when they traveled side-by-side, the only exceptions being when Peter would lead out ahead of them, which was often enough in Narnia. Here it was less like that, but holding Lucy's hand was sort of an inexplicable comfort for Peter. To him, she was, as were each of his siblings, his responsibility, his reason outside of himself, and even when they had reigned in the Golden Age, even when they had grown up, this had never changed.
He knew it never really would and that was how it should be.
The snow crunched beneath their feet, and with his free hand Peter adjusted his coat, tugging absently at one fastener. It was not as cold as it had been other days, and he did not need all of those buttons done so snugly. Peering down at the small queen, he considered waiting for her to explain this request for a walk, squeezing her hand as if to say that whatever it was, she could certainly tell
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat melionesscouchantJanuary 25 2009, 04:41:17 UTC
She squeezed his hand back, lifting her hood so he wouldn't see her hair, and she took a deep breath. The deities had said to make people cry, people close to you, and she hadn't wanted to, but she was worried that they would end the world like Prince Charming had told her.
There were other things that Prince Charming had said and they all whirled around in her head. So once they were a little ways away from the house, she spoke, quietly, "Do you miss Narnia?"
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat meoshutupJanuary 25 2009, 05:19:12 UTC
Her question made him arch a brow but unlike with others it did not hurt quite as much with Lucy, at least not in this moment. At other times it hurt the worst of course, knowing she could go back, though that was through no fault or choice of her own. She deserved to be able to go back anyway, and he truly felt this way, even if at the same time Peter could not help but envy the Valiant and the Just. Whenever he did think about it, and this was more often than he cared to admit, he was grateful just for having had the chance to be there as long as he had once been, but then, soon after, he always felt bitter, having been brought back only to be told that this was the end. There was nothing else. Had any of his feelings been any less than absolutely genuine, it could have been considered melodramatic, but the High King had not just sworn his loyalty of mind and body to his kingdom, all those years ago. He swore his heart as well
( ... )
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat melionesscouchantJanuary 25 2009, 05:23:13 UTC
She took a deep breath. She knows her brother loves Narnia - he loves the trees and the grasses and the people, the animals, the forests, even the Lantern Waste. Narnia had been his pride and now he couldn't go back. She remembered how he smiled in Narnia, a smile that he rarely ever showed anywhere else.
She knew that it was painful for him to remember.
"Does it hurt, to not be able to go back?" she asked, ignoring his question. Her face grew hot just to think about it.
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat meoshutupJanuary 25 2009, 07:05:25 UTC
They had come to about the middle of their front lawn, snow widespread around them, much of it unmarked by footprints, though directly behind them was of course clearly trodden. Two things made Peter stop, loosing his hand from the youngest Pevensie's only to peer at her, brow furrowed. One was her clear evasion of his question, and the second was that she continue to plow on about Narnia, which really was not very like her at all. What was she angling at? For the moment, he remained confused, but he considered her question silently for a while before answering.
"Even if I told you no, you would know better," he said at last, and this was the same as a 'yes', but more than that. It said that Peter, who did value truth--though there were exceptions to every rule--above many things, would lie, and lie twice and thrice over if he thought he had any chance of convincing his siblings that he was fine. He had lied that day in the square. Well, it was a half a lie.
It's not what I thought it would be...That part was true, though the same
( ... )
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat melionesscouchantJanuary 25 2009, 07:09:54 UTC
Lucy paused, and tried to collect herself, pulling her cloak around her as if it could gather warmth to her. She hated doing this, she hated trying to make him cry, because it simply wasn't right that she would go back, that Ed would go back, but that Susan and Peter were locked out of Narnia. That they had grown too old. Would she grow too old, one day? She didn't know the answer to that, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to know the answer to that.
She had known better than to think that Peter was all right, or that Susan was all right. Both of them were clearly not, when they got back to England, but how could she say anything?
She plowed on. "You'll never go back now, and even if Narnia needs it's High King you're forever barred." She paused. It hurt, to say those words. Did they hurt Peter? She felt a prickling at the corner of her eyes. She didn't want to hurt Peter.
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat meoshutupJanuary 25 2009, 07:26:06 UTC
Again, he sighed, this time running a hand through his hair as he looked around. He didn't see anyone, not ahead of them and not back near the house either. They were, essentially, alone, and yet this felt all too public for this kind of conversation. For a long while he just remained standing, staring down at Lucy because he was trying very hard to figure her out as well as her motivations for saying these things.
Then it occurred to him, as he noticed her expression, that she was very unhappy about saying all of this to begin with. So why?
Oh.
Dropping down on one knee so that he now peered up at her, he tilted his head, reaching out a hand to smooth some of her hair behind her ear.
"Lu, stop," he didn't quite order, but it was close to it. Don't do this to yourself, he thought and frowned inwardly.
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat melionesscouchantJanuary 25 2009, 07:37:26 UTC
Her hair, which had turned a very dark shade of blue. She looked at him and wrinkled her nose, and she tried to hold back that sniffle. "Y-you'll never go ba-back now and....and...."
That was as much as she could take, looking at his face, and seeing him more worried than upset. It was all that she could do to not wrap her arms around his neck as she felt the tears go down her cheeks and she wiped them away, but not fast enough. "Oh, Peter, I'm sorry," she cried, her sobs quiet but quick. She stood, quiet, her hands clenched at her sides. "P-please don't be angry with me."
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat meoshutupJanuary 25 2009, 08:23:36 UTC
"Lucy," he said her full name and didn't ask or even give her a look that asked for permission before standing up again and pulling her into his arms, leaning down to rest his chin atop her head easily enough. "I'm not angry," he assured her first and then he leaned back, hands on her shoulders as he then brought his forehead to bump against hers lightly
( ... )
♚ the blues they send to meet me won't defeat melionesscouchantJanuary 25 2009, 08:28:45 UTC
She wrapped her arms around him, giving him a hug that was tight and firm before she let him steer her back towards the house, her sobs escalating a bit when he told her he wasn't angry, then fading again as they walked. "Prince Charming said...he said that they would destroy worlds if we didn't do what they said and I..." she paused as he wiped her eyes, "...and I didn't know what to do..."
She heard the order in his voice and she knew that it wasn't because he was angry. She wondered, briefly, in a haze of tears and apologies if this counted as Peter making her cry. The thought caught in her chest. What a mess she had made! She gripped his hand tighter, looking up at him. "I really am sorry, Peter. I didn't want to make you cry. I just..."
She had felt like she had to. She knew that Peter understood, but it didn't make the pressure in her chest any less. He never would return. Just like Susan. How could that be? Lucy didn't understand.
"Lu? Is your coat in the hall closet? If not, best grab that," he said, and it was unnecessary as Lucy knew well how to take care of herself, but it was a habit he found hard to break--looking out more than he might need to for her, anyway.
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As a general rule, Lucy preferred to wear cloaks - it was a habit that she had picked up in Narnia and never managed to lose. She had three from Christmas, and she chose the purple one, slipping it on and reaching for Peter's hand as she came out of the door. She was blond - a sunnier blond than Peter, because her mood was generally sunny.
She hoped it wouldn't change for the worse over this conversation.
Reply
He knew it never really would and that was how it should be.
The snow crunched beneath their feet, and with his free hand Peter adjusted his coat, tugging absently at one fastener. It was not as cold as it had been other days, and he did not need all of those buttons done so snugly. Peering down at the small queen, he considered waiting for her to explain this request for a walk, squeezing her hand as if to say that whatever it was, she could certainly tell
Reply
There were other things that Prince Charming had said and they all whirled around in her head. So once they were a little ways away from the house, she spoke, quietly, "Do you miss Narnia?"
Reply
Reply
She knew that it was painful for him to remember.
"Does it hurt, to not be able to go back?" she asked, ignoring his question. Her face grew hot just to think about it.
Reply
"Even if I told you no, you would know better," he said at last, and this was the same as a 'yes', but more than that. It said that Peter, who did value truth--though there were exceptions to every rule--above many things, would lie, and lie twice and thrice over if he thought he had any chance of convincing his siblings that he was fine. He had lied that day in the square. Well, it was a half a lie.
It's not what I thought it would be...That part was true, though the same ( ... )
Reply
She had known better than to think that Peter was all right, or that Susan was all right. Both of them were clearly not, when they got back to England, but how could she say anything?
She plowed on. "You'll never go back now, and even if Narnia needs it's High King you're forever barred." She paused. It hurt, to say those words. Did they hurt Peter? She felt a prickling at the corner of her eyes. She didn't want to hurt Peter.
Reply
Then it occurred to him, as he noticed her expression, that she was very unhappy about saying all of this to begin with. So why?
Oh.
Dropping down on one knee so that he now peered up at her, he tilted his head, reaching out a hand to smooth some of her hair behind her ear.
"Lu, stop," he didn't quite order, but it was close to it. Don't do this to yourself, he thought and frowned inwardly.
Reply
That was as much as she could take, looking at his face, and seeing him more worried than upset. It was all that she could do to not wrap her arms around his neck as she felt the tears go down her cheeks and she wiped them away, but not fast enough. "Oh, Peter, I'm sorry," she cried, her sobs quiet but quick. She stood, quiet, her hands clenched at her sides. "P-please don't be angry with me."
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She heard the order in his voice and she knew that it wasn't because he was angry. She wondered, briefly, in a haze of tears and apologies if this counted as Peter making her cry. The thought caught in her chest. What a mess she had made! She gripped his hand tighter, looking up at him. "I really am sorry, Peter. I didn't want to make you cry. I just..."
She had felt like she had to. She knew that Peter understood, but it didn't make the pressure in her chest any less. He never would return. Just like Susan. How could that be? Lucy didn't understand.
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