I'm 30!!
Yesterday was great! Turning 30 did have me worried, I was trying to slide into it without freaking out. My mind has been occupied with the break up of Brandon and I. We broke up over a week ago and it feels different this time. I made a decision based on logic, not emotion. I didn't get mad and shout out "i'm done" , he didn't do anything to break my heart. I just figured I'm turning 30 and it's time for a new direction. I tend to accept disapointment as a way of life because it's what I've seen around me. I get it that in a relationship there will be arguments and there will be days where you will be disapointed in the one you love, BUT there is a different between normal relationship things between 2 compatible people and differences between people that are just too different too work. I wanted things to work so bad that i became patient and tried to work with Brandon rather than against him. I wanted to help him be a better boyfriend, thinking it was just a maturity thing, but then there comes a point where you run out of things to "fix" and it just comes down to personality. And that case you can't change who you are. So I realized, this is the second birthday we would spend apart cuz we broke up- this is my life. I see a pattern and i refuse to spend another year in the same place with the same problems. I deseve a lot more than I give myself credit for and if i learn to be patient and not settle i can get it. But if the wrong things are in the way i wont ever get what i want. So its hard and i do miss him but i dont miss what we became. We didn't even fight over big things anymore, it just became constant bickering and anger. We are better people than this, we deserve better than we were giving each other. So in my turning 30 I'd like to say I've become wiser and more realistic and I'm hoping to god I stay strong and keep on this path. It's scary to be single but living in constant turmoil is worse.
My party yesterday was awesome. I felt so lucky to be surrounded by all my friends and family. It turned out so great. We had it at the Britania Arms on Almaden Expressway and there were about 50-60 people there. They brought out the big grill and bbq'd burgers n dogs out in the patio. We had potato skins, chicken wings and french fries. It was a great time. Made my trip into 30 much easier. My family stayed till about 9 or 10, then the rest of us danced and drank the night away. I did get pretty drunk but thank god no puking or embarassing actions...at least i think. =) Even though it was strange not to have Brandon there I have to say I'm thankful to have such supportive friends to be there to make me smile when i began to get sad and to keep me laughing. It was a FANTASTIC night =)
My party yesterday was awesome. I felt so lucky to be surrounded by all my friends and family. It turned out so great. We had it at the Britania Arms on Almaden Expressway and there were about 50-60 people there. They brought out the big grill and bbq'd burgers n dogs out in the patio. We had potato skins, chicken wings and french fries. It was a great time. Made my trip into 30 much easier. My family stayed till about 9 or 10, then the rest of us danced and drank the night away. I did get pretty drunk but thank god no puking or embarassing actions...at least i think. =) Even though it was strange not to have Brandon there I have to say I'm thankful to have such supportive friends to be there to make me smile when i began to get sad and to keep me laughing. It was a FANTASTIC night =)