Lyrics to offend the faint of heart
Gerbil by Stephen Lynch
(Sweetly "cantabile")
I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo
If Richard Gere Can do it I can too
I get undressed I start to lube
I stick the gerbil at the end of the tube
Wond'ring just how he'll feel;
Will he like it better than his little wheel?
(crescendo to driving acoustic rock)
Careful now, he's right beside me
One more inch and he's inside me
Goooooooooooo, gerbil go!
Burrow harder Burrow deeper!
Be my little Chimney Sweeper!
One thing I forgot about-
How am I supposed to get you out?
(sweetly again)
So now my gerbil's on easy street
It's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat
The situation is beyond my control
Gotta find a way to get him out of this hole
(crescendo to driving rock again)
I try crowbars I try wires
I almost had him with a pair of pliers
I try cheese but he's not biting
I wish this wasn't so exciting-
Goooooooooo, gerbil, go!
Jesus I am such a sucker
Please get out you furry fucker!
I think I am getting ill-
Suddenly he's very very still
(Sweetly)
Now it's too late- my gerbil died
I guess I have committed gerbicide
Here's some advice - it's very clear cut
if you love your gerbil, don't stick him up your butt...
That's it. Stephen Lynch is my hero. He has a beautiful voice and writes songs specifically to offend people. He's best experienced live. His facial expressions and gestures just make the songs come alive. Remember folks... Shove a bag of skittles up your but and you will crap a rainbow of color. Have a nice day!
(Sweetly "cantabile")
I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo
If Richard Gere Can do it I can too
I get undressed I start to lube
I stick the gerbil at the end of the tube
Wond'ring just how he'll feel;
Will he like it better than his little wheel?
(crescendo to driving acoustic rock)
Careful now, he's right beside me
One more inch and he's inside me
Goooooooooooo, gerbil go!
Burrow harder Burrow deeper!
Be my little Chimney Sweeper!
One thing I forgot about-
How am I supposed to get you out?
(sweetly again)
So now my gerbil's on easy street
It's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat
The situation is beyond my control
Gotta find a way to get him out of this hole
(crescendo to driving rock again)
I try crowbars I try wires
I almost had him with a pair of pliers
I try cheese but he's not biting
I wish this wasn't so exciting-
Goooooooooo, gerbil, go!
Jesus I am such a sucker
Please get out you furry fucker!
I think I am getting ill-
Suddenly he's very very still
(Sweetly)
Now it's too late- my gerbil died
I guess I have committed gerbicide
Here's some advice - it's very clear cut
if you love your gerbil, don't stick him up your butt...
That's it. Stephen Lynch is my hero. He has a beautiful voice and writes songs specifically to offend people. He's best experienced live. His facial expressions and gestures just make the songs come alive. Remember folks... Shove a bag of skittles up your but and you will crap a rainbow of color. Have a nice day!