(no subject)
To prepare for my jaunt to the Bahamas and the intensity of the sun there, I had my first tanning bed experience today. TERRIFYING. EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT IT.
1.) It's like being in a fucking oven.
2.) Skin cancer and expedited aging?!
3.) You are laying on fucking GLASS. THAT DOES NOT FEEL SAFE. And just in case it breaks, underneath the glass are, oh, just a bunch of long glass bulbs with hot UV rays shooting out of them.
4.) And did I mention you are naked?! (except for little eye buggles)
5.) When the lid closes over you it's so tight in there you can't even lift your hand to adjust the little eye buggles you have to wear.
6.) The glass is creaking constantly and you can feel it moving unstably beneath you, probably warping a little because of the heat. Like it's about to fucking shatter and leave you baking to death full of glass shards.
7.) Did I mention that I once watched a horror movie in which a young buxom female got stuck in a tanning booth and the heat turned up to full blast and she cooked/burned to death in the most painful of ways? Yes, the glass did break underneath her as a result of the heat. Her eyes exploded and her skin melted off of her.
So you can imagine all the things going through my head as I laid naked and prone, offering my life up to the glass in that claustrophobic little death chamber as it cooked me.
No person has ever been so delicate and gentle getting into or out of a tanning booth as I was. I'm surprised I even made it in at all.
It took a lot out of me. AND PEOPLE DO THIS FOR FUN?
1.) It's like being in a fucking oven.
2.) Skin cancer and expedited aging?!
3.) You are laying on fucking GLASS. THAT DOES NOT FEEL SAFE. And just in case it breaks, underneath the glass are, oh, just a bunch of long glass bulbs with hot UV rays shooting out of them.
4.) And did I mention you are naked?! (except for little eye buggles)
5.) When the lid closes over you it's so tight in there you can't even lift your hand to adjust the little eye buggles you have to wear.
6.) The glass is creaking constantly and you can feel it moving unstably beneath you, probably warping a little because of the heat. Like it's about to fucking shatter and leave you baking to death full of glass shards.
7.) Did I mention that I once watched a horror movie in which a young buxom female got stuck in a tanning booth and the heat turned up to full blast and she cooked/burned to death in the most painful of ways? Yes, the glass did break underneath her as a result of the heat. Her eyes exploded and her skin melted off of her.
So you can imagine all the things going through my head as I laid naked and prone, offering my life up to the glass in that claustrophobic little death chamber as it cooked me.
No person has ever been so delicate and gentle getting into or out of a tanning booth as I was. I'm surprised I even made it in at all.
It took a lot out of me. AND PEOPLE DO THIS FOR FUN?