Red Bull -IT GIVES YOU WINGS.- Vitalizes body and mind.
Mackenzie and I went to dinner at it was beautiful. Besides the fact that the “fat boy” lifted up his shirt at Mackenzie and I thinking that we wanted to see his beautiful belly. Rather unappetizing and I could have done without but I guess he didn’t think like we did. He seems to be proud of the fact that he can’t see his feet he is so big. Loser. People like him make me want to grab a gun and kill.
Mackenzie did help, for the few hours that we were together I didn’t feel one slightest bit of anger at anything BUT the fat boy. We went to the broiler and then walked around the mall, avoiding GNC. Went to Fred Meyers like normal and got a cd. Then I dropped her off at home.
I’m still angry at the world.
Sara suggested that I cut half of my body off and rub myself agents the wall making a “splatter Linzy.” Smart Sara, but not so smart of an idea. I think I’ll pass on that one. But I am about to cut my dogs head off and splatter that on a wall. He is barking over and over and over and it is really starting to drive me mad.
I’m about to have a nervous break down and there isn’t anything anyone can do to help. I jus was on the phone with Sara for 33 minutes and 18 seconds and we talked about our previous conversation from the other night, the one that has fucked with my mood for the second day now. She seems to think that her talks help. Me venting to her for 30 of those minutes did help. I listed at very least 27 things in my life right now that I hate and that makes me so violent and I want to act out. I have a lot of built up anger that I’ve been meaning to “let lose” but for some reason I cant get it all out. I am so tense that I can feel it in my toes. I’m going to be sick.
I’ve realized that there is a lot of things in life that I could live with out, but the stuff I do need out weights the stuff I don’t need. And most of that stuff I do not have.
I’ve realized that I spent 77% of my life waiting.
I’m going to go for a drive, listen to some very angry music in hopes of letting out some rage or at least calming me down. If not I’m going to need some serious fucking help to get over all of this shit.
Mackenzie did help, for the few hours that we were together I didn’t feel one slightest bit of anger at anything BUT the fat boy. We went to the broiler and then walked around the mall, avoiding GNC. Went to Fred Meyers like normal and got a cd. Then I dropped her off at home.
I’m still angry at the world.
Sara suggested that I cut half of my body off and rub myself agents the wall making a “splatter Linzy.” Smart Sara, but not so smart of an idea. I think I’ll pass on that one. But I am about to cut my dogs head off and splatter that on a wall. He is barking over and over and over and it is really starting to drive me mad.
I’m about to have a nervous break down and there isn’t anything anyone can do to help. I jus was on the phone with Sara for 33 minutes and 18 seconds and we talked about our previous conversation from the other night, the one that has fucked with my mood for the second day now. She seems to think that her talks help. Me venting to her for 30 of those minutes did help. I listed at very least 27 things in my life right now that I hate and that makes me so violent and I want to act out. I have a lot of built up anger that I’ve been meaning to “let lose” but for some reason I cant get it all out. I am so tense that I can feel it in my toes. I’m going to be sick.
I’ve realized that there is a lot of things in life that I could live with out, but the stuff I do need out weights the stuff I don’t need. And most of that stuff I do not have.
I’ve realized that I spent 77% of my life waiting.
I’m going to go for a drive, listen to some very angry music in hopes of letting out some rage or at least calming me down. If not I’m going to need some serious fucking help to get over all of this shit.